Lost:
Yeah, not doing too bad today.
I know what you mean about finding it difficult to come up with positives - there are plenty days when I feel that way, too. The things I listed this morning are all pretty minor, ordinary things really, and once upon a time would not have warranted thinking of as successes in any way - going to work, being able to laugh at myself, planning to go to a meditation class....but I'm trying (with varying degrees of success from day to day) to think with a changed mind, to somehow accept my current situation as being the way it is, right here and now.
By which I mean to acknowledge that at the moment I am not well, and work from that as a basis. Just as if I'd broken my leg I would celebrate walking to the bathroom, now my spirit is damaged I am trying to celebrate the small things of life, and see them as signs of the possibility of recovery. If through this acceptance of myself (not a permanent embracing of the disease, which is not me) I can learn to love and value myself again, then I believe I shall be on the way to getting better.
Of course, the depression, the sly old demon, talks to me, tells me I am pathetic:
"Why celebrate these little things.....what a loser you are....is that the best you've got in your life....you ridiculous waste of space....."
Some days I listen to it and join in, but there are some, like today, when I can answer back in my mind, and I know that it can be beaten.
