Hi Lady, Please be kind to yourself! Even in accepting that sometimes you can "fight the good fight" and during the times when you feel like quitting! You are allowed to be gentle and accepting of the unique and valuable person who is you! (Excuse my grammar). As a fellow traveller I identify with your feelings and there are times I want to quit too. I have noticed, however, that those low points eventually subside. I am trying to become more skilled at doing what I need to do to "survive" the low times until the low mood lifts. (Funny books, tapes, movies...coffee and bagels with a friend, enjoying a garden). The dawn eventually breaks! My very best to you that you will find creative ways to endure the low times, ways that help bring on that dawn! Paddy

Hi all. Please hang in there! Lady, it seems that your doctor is maybe a little uncooporative, or close-minded. It concerns me that your MD didn't return the call from your therapist and that his/her message was relayed to you by the nurse. Try not to worry about if the depression is "you" or a chemical problem. Either way, the goal is the same - to heal. And it does not make you a bad person, whacked, etc. If anything, perhaps it gives us a kinder perspective towards others.

Thanks Danielle -- Have you found that the traditional medical community isn't terribly well-versed in alternative therapies? I'm a little uncertain as to where people on this website are from. I think that the website and facilitators are in Canada, is that right? But there are people from around the world accessing and contributing? I ask because I lived in Australia for 4 years and in the UK for 8 years, and found both places to be much more integrated in their approach to health than they are here in Canada. I'm not sure if this is a result of a couple of bad experiences for me, or if it is more widespread. What is your experience? Janice

Confused, Keep working with your doctor. If you find medication isn't working for you, ask what other therapies may be available to you in addition or in place of medication. Ex: Exercise, herbal supplements, light therapy... Hope this helps. Keep persevering! Danielle ____________________ The DC Support Team

Hi Lady I feel your frustration! The ads on tv say "You don't have to go through this alone. Talk to your doctor." I resisted for a long time, because I don't like taking medication, but my "not coping" was getting so out of control that I finally went to my doctor, truly thinking that the medication would make me feel better. My doctor didn't suggest any therapy, just medication. First was Zoloft, and she kept increasing my dose until we reached the maximum and she decided that a different drug would work better. Same with Paxil, then Effexor, then Wellbutrin... I hate coming off one and going on another, and I'm sick and tired of feeling this way! And if it's not working, why on earth am I filling my body with heavy duty drugs? Research shows over and over that a combination of medication and therapy is the most effective treatment for depression, and one would think that there would be some sort of communication between the therapist and the prescribing doctor (ideally, they would be the same person, but I haven't been able to find anyone like that). I'd ask your doctor why he doesn't want to speak with your therapist -- if he doesn't think she adds value, then ask him which therapy/therapist he would recommend. I'm figuring out that medication doesn't help everyone, and I think I get what you mean about not wanting the problem to be you -- if medication worked for me, then my depression was simply due to a chemical imbalance and could be classified as an "acceptable" disease like, say diabetes. Having tried a few different medications with no luck, I need to accept that it's not a chemical imbalance and must therefore be "in my head". Less tangible, less acceptable, makes people look at me sideways when I tell them. So I don't tell them, and I hide myself away so they won't see and judge me. Am I just weird, or does that resonate? I don't know what I'm going to do about my medication, but I'll pre-empt Josie and Danielle and confirm that I won't make any changes without talking to my doctor first. You sound sensible enough to do the same. You also sound strong and determined -- you'll make it through this. Sending you healing energy, Janice

I don't understand and I don't know what else to do. I have faced many adversities in my life and have come through some really tough times a better person because of it all or despite of it all. Danielle, you just don't know. There are days I think throwing my quit out of the window just might save my sanity. I haven't been using the other site but I have been using my quit buddies. They are always there thank God. This is a battle I don't understand and I can't see my way clear. I will continue to work towards a better day. I said earlier today that I refuse to give up this fight. This depression, anxiety, whatever you want to call it will not get the best of me either!

Lady, My heart goes out to you but the Lady I know wouldn't give up so easily. You had a period where you struggled with your quit and look how far you've come since then! I know you can do this. Keep working through the program and keep posting. The DC team is always here to listen and to help. Many members experiences setbacks. You're not alone. It's tough at first but you learn from those setbacks and keep going. You may also want to consider seeking the assistance of a psychiatrist as they not only understand mental health to greater depth but can prescribe medications also. Talk to your counsellor, she/he may be able to direct you to one. Keep us posted. Danielle ______________________ The DC Support Team

Thanks Ava for letting me know I'm not out here all alone. Danielle, I have contacted my doctor, my counselor has contacted my doctor. My doctor says he doesn't want to make any changes. I am working my way through this and have been since late October. I'm not getting very far. I make a little progress and then it all seems to go down the drain.

Lady: I use the same kind of logic, that if the problem is still there when I take the steps people recommend, then I must be the problem. And like you I feel pretty isolated in my situation. All I can say to you is even if there is some "aloneness" in your situation, I'm asking myself the same kinds of questions. I don't quite know how to connect all the dots at the moment but I do know that sometimes they seem to connect themselves. I just want to get to a place where that starts to happen again. And I am hoping the same for you :-)

Lady, If you don't think your medication is helping, please consult with your doctor. It may need to be adjusted. Depression isn't overcome with medication alone, you also must tackle your cycle of negative thoughts and other underlying issues. That in itself will take some time so don't be too hard on yourself. Just keep taking it one baby step at a time. Keep working through the program. Perhaps one of your long-term goals could be to generate new friendships? Reconnect with old ones? Danielle _____________________ The DC Support Team