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Holiday Stress


13 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
~m

Those tiny baby steps are going to leave you a hollow spot where anxiety used to live. It is going to be a weird feeling and you will have to find something to fill that spot with. Other people have told me about this hollow spot where something is missing. I know you will find something to fill it with.
There is always a fear of how our posts will be received (one of my hang ups). Keep posting, I love your progress. I love every ones progress.

Merry Christmas

Davit.
13 years ago 0 659 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Yes! 
 
Merry Christmas!
 
Everyone!!!
 
Red.
13 years ago 0 653 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
~m,
 
You make me laugh. You are still not comfortable with giving yourself a pat on the back without also slapping your hand in the process! So, I gently suggest that give yourself a present,  and think about giving up that habit!
 
I'm sure you will master the spellcheck- not like I've noticed that you need it!!
 
Nice prayer, Sunny. And cute profile pic!
 
Tiana, Health Educator
13 years ago 0 376 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Oh, I love this poem Sunny! Thank you for posting it today.  Perfect!
 
I'm sorry you guys are feeling down... I see your Christmas tree, Davit and your cactus flowers, Red and it makes me smile and feel very grateful for the beauty you so freely share here for the rest of us.  I'm glad you are here today :)
 
Thank you Tiana & Davit for your response to my post.  I always live in fear (imagine that?) of my posts being totally ignored OR being read and eliciting a response. Guess I can't get all the kinks in my brain worked out at once.  Anyways....
 
To answer the question about perceiving the holidays differently... yes, I believe it will.  I spend a lot of energy dreading the holidays because of the non-specific fear shrouding that whole time of year.  Of course, there  will be always be sadness (for that tragedy so long ago, for M being gone, for life in general being less than perfect, etc., etc.,etc.)  Clearing out the fear leaves room for so much more... I would think... I hope.
 
How did this come to me?  You know those baby steps everyone keeps talking about?  It was a series of teeny-tiny steps so small as to be almost not moving at all..............   I need to think this through and journal it so I won't forget.  Thanks for asking the question.  It will help my awareness of the process.
 
Thank you all for your encouragement, sharing, and support.  I feel like this is my BIG Christmas present this year
 and I don't feel ashamed accepting it! Progress  (now if I could just learn how to spell or at least use the spell check... sheesh!)  
 
13 years ago 0 1665 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hello everyone:  One thing which helps me to get over Christmas blues if I have them, (one of my brothers' b'day is Christmas Day, he died when I was a teenager), is remember what the day really means.  Some in the forum may not be of the same religious faith, I respect that, I try to focus on the birth of Christ and the meaning of Christmas.  One of my favourite prayers is from St. Francis of Assisi:
 
The Peace Prayer of St. Francis
 
Lord, Make me an instrument
of your peace.  Where there is hatred,
 let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
  Divine Master, grant that I may
not so much seek to be consoled as
to console; to be understood as to
understand; to be loved as to love.
  For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born
to eternal life.   Amen
 
 
A very MERRY CHRISTMAS to everyone.
 
Your friend, Sunny
 
 
13 years ago 0 659 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Davit,
Lovely Christmas tree. I have a bit of the Christmas blues too. We will get through this together. Only two days left and we will be on to a New Year....
 
Hear for you,
 
Red.
13 years ago 0 653 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
~m: this stuff can now be fully felt and flow on out leaving memory but not devistation or paralyzing anxiety. This is so powerful and life-changing stuff!! It's so great that you had this realization. How did this finally come to you? Do you think you will now perceive the holidays differently? You are doing so well- I'm proud of you!
 
Davit, tough time? How are you coping? I know you are very strong and resiliant. You will get through it! Let us know if we can help.
 
 
 
Tiana, Health Educator
13 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
~m

Probably my mistake, I have a bit of the Christmas blues. So glad you are fine.

Here for you.
Davit.
13 years ago 0 376 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Perhaps my post did not fully convey my intent....
 
Which was to share that for the first time I understand where all the Christmas angst came from and now that I know what the thoughts are about this tragedy.... I can let the guilt and sense of responsibility go... because, now as an adult I do understand that those feelings were misplaced.  My thoughts, today, tell me that of course I had no responsibility for what happened.... I was a human being (and a kid at that)  faced with a natural disaster.  Using these new tools of cognitive awareness.... this stuff can now be fully felt and flow on out leaving memory but not devistation or paralyzing anxiety .....
 
anyway.  this was supposed to be a positive post..... I guess I didn't say it very well.  I'm sorry it came across negatively.  Because this is huge.  really, truly huge.  A breakthrough for me  which brings such a sense of relief.  I wish I had conveyed that better.
13 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
~m,

Please don't punish yourself for the past. If we could go back and change the past we would, Lord knows I have stuff I would pay every thing I have to change. But we can't. We can only learn from it and not do it again. Or at least try. Some things are out of our hands. Some things were just circumstance, not our fault. Guilty by association. 
I would take the time to remember those less fortunate than you, those that have not been blessed as you have and don't punish yourself, they would not want it. Especially at this time of the year. There is a greater plan and we are only a small part of it. But a part we are. 
If we were perfect we would not have to celebrate this birthday that we are. We would not need this reminder that the world is not what it could be or should be. Toast those that suffered so we do not have to. Don't bury them, don't let their suffering be for nothing. Let your feelings flow, and be kind to yourself. 
The biggest gift you can give is to learn how to get better so you can help others. There are a lot that need your help. Never fear, you are not here without reason. Use this feeling of guilt to keep you going if you must, but never give up, we have no control of the future we know not when an opportunity will show up to make amends. 
Use it, don't let it rule you.

Here for you,
Davit.

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