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8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2508

Davit,

Sorry your ill and having to go through this.

As for me I had a terrible day being sick and having the gastro doctor call me and tell he's sick of me and of me not taking me my prednisone just because it makes me feel bad. I guess he doesn't have a clue what severe anxiety/ severe depression is or what it's like getting only 3 hours sleep a night or what it's like getting up at 4 a.m. and running out side into the night to walk off a PANIC attack. Or what it's like waking up in a dream state thinking your reaching for a shiny silver gun your new best friend and finding out it was never really there and that it was not real. It was just a dream and the torment will never end.

That yes I had to stop the prednisone if I wanted to regain my sanity and live. Which I did and yes I back on earth and alive still. I am still sad and scared about how I have been treated and of what lies ahead God I hope it isn't more of the above.

Time will tell.

Thank God for the Lord above...

God help us.

Red..

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

It is amazing how many different things a person can have go wrong with them at the same time and how they can lead down the wrong path. Blood tests showed I had an infection but didn't show I had Costrochondritis. So when the infection went and there was still very bad pain it was deemed to be in my head. All my tests were normal, but they are with this condition except CRP. CRP shows inflammation and was ignored because I have arthritis. But an arthritis flare is everywhere, Costrochondritis is only in the 4,5,6 ribs on the left side. No where else. The pain is often mistaken for Angina. My oxygen saturation is a bit low. So now it is thought I have COPD or Apnia. But it is more likely micoplasma pneumonia which has no signs in blood tests or X-rays in the early stages.

You can see what this does to my anxiety level. So I cycle between wanting to kick in the walls and make a mess with my shotgun. And both are due only to the frustration. So I'm going to take Trimipramine for a while again and ask for an increase in home support while I do. It helps with pain tolerance, but makes me sleep 20 hours a day. The other four hours are productive though. This is good, and the shotgun has no appeal. It doesn't help that I can not take anti inflammatories.

Davit

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2508

I'm taking a extended break from the forum.

Best of luck to everyone out there.

red

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2508

Still hanging in here at home. The last 2 weeks have been extreme with anxiety and depression plus only 3 hours of tortured sleep at night all due to side effects of the drug prednisone 40mg daily. I wished the doc had warned me. Any way it's over now I stopped the meds and am getting back to normal mentally, that is. It was a scary ride for sure. I made peace with it all, in a dream. I almost left this world for good, puff, bang, no big deal. I guess it's time to find a new doctor now. The cbt that I learned here just may have saved me plus a little mindfulness and lots of prayer.

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2508

Happy Fathers day to all the dads, granddads and all the single moms and grandma's out there who are playing a duel role. Wishing you and all of us a wonderful day today....Red....

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2508

It's 530 a.m. here. It's quite, cool and peaceful. The sun is coming up over the horizon and the birds are slowly waking up. I love this serenity. It's supposed to get up to 108 degrees by Tuesday than the temps will start coming down again.

Wishing everyone a peaceful day today.

Red

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2508

Hi hugs!

Yah that was me being sarcastic. A side you haven't seen of me yet. It's a good sign too. It means I haven't given up the fight yet and still some fight left in this old gal. I have to say it felt good saying it too. Oh I had a pleasant surprise late this afternoon. The nurse called me at home to see how I was doing which is a first. It sure felt good to hear her voice. She's working on seeing if she can infusion meds covered on my insurance so I can start treatment. They coast $7000 per treatment plus the cost of the infusion center. So they haven't given up on me yet and we are working still working on getting me well. So tonight when I shut my eyes I will get so much needed rest...

Thanks for cheering me up my dear friend.

Red :)

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

Hi Red, I guess you're being sarcastic when you mention how "sweet" the doc was. I remember a doc saying to me that if I didn't have an operation, I'd be in wheelchair, but her tone was softer, than what I read into your typing.

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2508

Still hanging in there. Doing 40mg prednisone now. I seem to be Adjusting. Had two pretty good days this week then today it went bad again from a physical standpoint. Anyway I am calm right now and am laying down and resting which is a good thing.

My doctor has a plan. Take your meds or lose your colon. If you don't want to be on dangerous meds than we can remove your colon and you won't need meds anymore. If things get worse over the weekend get to a hospital.

So I have been following orders all week. Aren't Doctors Sweet! Of course I have my own plan I will stay home for as long as I can were I am comfortable and safe.

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2508

Cut back my dose today. It was a restful and peace day. Just taking it one day at a time for now.

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