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Emotions - Acessing them for decision-making

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi Red: Sooooo happy for you! You've been through a lot and now it is the healing period which takes time. It sounds wonderful about the quilts for veterans or cancer patients, children in hospital. I remember when my youngest daughter had her first child, it was premature and had to stay in intensive care for a few days because of other problems. The hospital had baby quilts which were donated and the parents could chose whichever one they liked. My daughter chose a Christmas themed one as the baby was born near then. It made her feel good to think that people cared enough to do this for parents during an emotional time. It really was meaningful.

As for the breathing. I don't know if this will help or not, but I remember when my ex had quit smoking. He coughed and hacked quite a bit afterward but it improved. It has been about 7 years now and the doctor says his lungs are all clear and he breathes just great. He had had a mild heart attack and quit smoking right away. Actually, I think it was around the 2 yr. mark that they declared his lungs recovered from all the smoking - he started at 13 yrs. old. Mind you at 7 yrs. now, it is even better especially with the walking he does.

Very happy the news is good for you.

Sunny

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2508

Debora,

So good to hear from you, and thank you for the prayers and healing angels..They must be working because I am healing very nicely..

You sound so much better..I guess prayers are making you stronger every day too..

I am so happy for you and proud of you too..

Sending prayer your way too..

Will talk to again soon...

Red....

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

Oh Red, How wonderful NO cancer!! Prayers have been answered! I am so happy to hear that you must be so relieved!

I am sorry about the safe person and the breathing issues, let me know what the chest x-ray shows, I had a chest x-ray last month because of breathing, it could be SO many things, a little broncitis, or a temporary reaction to the anthesia, I spelled that wrong I am sure, I hope as you read this it has let up, I am glad you are home and cozy in your home and resting well.

My Doctor and Mother-in-law both told me when you quit or cut down on smoking you cough MORE, its your lungs getting rid of the nicotine, which is good, I think your lungs are just recooping! I have cheated a few times the last few weeks, I have had a couple cigarettes and I am SO mad at myself, but I have cut down to almost nothing! My primary said its the "dopamine" in the cigarettes, My husband bought me an "electronic cig" it helps, its hard, I know its very hard to quit Red.

I do not think you have congestive heart Red, my Dad had that and there are a lot of other symptoms, he lived with it throught and died of something else years and years later. I am so glad you are home. Sending you healing angels, please let me know how you are doing.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2508

Hi Vincenza,

Thank you for the support today and for reminding me that smoking will only add to my stress..You are so right and I do want to be able to breath and my heart doesn't need the extra stress on it right now that is for sure..

I am still thinking about your question in response to my saying I want to do something that gives my life meaning..Not sure what I want to do yet to fulfill that need. I have been thinking about getting involved in making quilts for people in the hospital and for veterans returning home from the war..This is something I have been thinking about for a long time now..When I heal from my recent surgery which will take a few months..They don't want me lifting anything over 10 pounds right now and I am not to do anything strenuous for at least 6 weeks. Than I will have a follow up ultra sound in 6 months to make sure everything is healing correctly and that there is no leakage..

So after that I should be able to carry my sewing machine around again and then I can get involved with my quilting classes again, which mean I maybe able to join a quilting guild that I have been interesting in joining for some time now..They make quilts and such for charities, like children's hospital and for women who have to travel to the hospital for cancer treatments, plus they also make quilts for Veterans..Doing this I think would give my life meaning and purpose..It is something I feel very passionate about and have a passion for..

Thats it out with the sad days and in with the new..Something to look forward too...

Red....

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1853

Hi Red,

Wow - so many mixed emotions to experience all at once. I am so glad to hear the news that the tumour they removed is not cancerous! I'm just sorry you had to go through those other scary events at the hospital that now seem to have overshadowed this great news.

You should be very proud to have quit smoking - especially during a stressful period like this. Remind yourself that smoking will not solve any problems or relieve you of stress - but only add to it.

Continue to take care of yourself as you are. You mention focusing on doing what gives your life meaning... can you share with us what those things may be? Vincenza, Health Educator

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2508

I seem to keep coming back to what I felt when I originally posted to this thread..I am looking to understanding myself and my emotions better...I do not want to run or hide from them anymore..or jump behind a smoke screen and die in a cloud of smoke..

So the time has come for me to take to time to face my demons and fears and then I can move on and stay quit for good..Then I will know what direction I want to go in with my life..and the first step is to take care of me first..I have to come first now..That is the one big lesson I learned from all this..I must take care of me first and not depend on others ever..Just like I must do what gives my life meaning and makes it worth living..not what others want to do but what I want to do..Thats what really matters now..

Life is so short why waste it...

Red....

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2508

Thanks everyone for you support as always..

I have some good news to report today..The pathology tests came back on the kidney tumor that I had removed and I do not have cancer..Which is very good news. The other news is not so good..They say I may want to see a chest specialist now.

I had some problems with my breathing and after surgery while at the hospital..It was very very scary and my safe person did not stay the night with me that night like he said he would..I woke up and he was gone and I panicked big time..Anyway we did a chest xray the next day and I just found out today after going to the hospital and asking for my records that they thought I was having congestive heart failure..Today when I spoke on the phone with my doctor he never mentioned it. He just said I may want to see someone in the chest clinic. I am so angry and upset that they have not been honest with me now or while I was in the hospital..

I am really very lucky to be alive and at home..I have had lots of emotions and feeling since my stay in the hospital plus I have had some nightmares and my sleep is very troubled..I was so afraid to sleep in the hospital because it so hard for me to breath and I thought if I went to sleep I would stop breathing and die. I have had a pretty big setback when it comes to my panic and anxiety because of all that happened at the hospital..

Yes I guess Ashley let the cat out of the bag. I have quit smoking for almost 2 weeks now and I am sure that has effected my emotions some, but I really think the issues I am having right now are from the trauma I went through at the hospital..I am glad I have quit smoking and feel really good about it. Its pretty simple if I smoke I will not be able to breath and will die for sure and I do not want to die gasping for air like I did in the hospital..The good thing is that I am breathing much easier since I quit smoking. I also feel much safer now that I am home.

So now I will start to work on my panic/anxiety issues again and hopefully I will be able to learn to trust people again..

Red..

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Red

Both me and Sunny went through our worst days without any support, not even this site. We know what you are going through and it sucks. We survived even though it was unpleasant, you will too, you are a strong person, hang in there. It will make you even stronger.

Davit. Very sore from too much gardening all at once.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

Hi Red,

Hope you're doing better. Also sorry to hear about your safe person.

Hi Ashley,

I'm just resuming using my thought records, to track emotions. I will say that anger seems to help invigorate me

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11214

Hi Red,

Keep in mind you are also quitting smoking now. This can and normally does lower mood and increase anxiety for the first little while. After you will feel better than ever though! So, may I suggest holding off on the very serious look at your life just until you are a bit farther along in your quit. Quitting smoking is such a big change a lot of emotions come up in the process. Focus on the quit for now - it is a BIG big deal.

I have a sense once you are farther along in your quit you will have a new sense of freedom and strength - coming from that place when examining your life might be a bit more resonant.

However, only you can decide what is best for you. Whatever you decide to do we will be right there with you.

I am sorry to hear about your safe person. That sounds like a hurtful and scary situation. Evaluate that situation when you are ready.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

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Emotions - Acessing them for decision-making