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I Think I am in Trouble

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

Thanks guys for all you're encouraging replies. I am going to try my "to do" list Carmie, I had a very bad night of scary dreams and woke up with the racing heart and chest and arm pain and nausea, but I am trying not too let in ruin the day, I posted another post about it, the dreams kind of calmed down for awhile and then they came back last night and this morning, it would not be so bad if the symptoms went away after a few minutes of waking but today they are really lingering, trying to think positive and hope they settle down soon. That is wonderful that you have a supportive loving husband Matilda, that is important, when my husband was younger when this first started eleven years ago {this is my third bout with this in eleven years} he was more supportive, but he is older now and having his own health problems, I think he is just tired and wore out and he is unable to really give me a lot right now, I think his anger is he knows he cannot "fix it" no one but I can, I would like more support from him but cannot expect it, I too hope 2012 is good for all of us Matilda, that is my hope my prayer and my goal for us all.

Davit even through I had a bad night I am going to try and think positive, and try too keep the day productive and positive, "a bad morning need not mean a bad day" I keep telling myself, maybe its nerves from New Years, I so want the coming year too be better physically emotionally and mentally, but I cannot pressure myself that makes it worse, I guess I just have to stay strong, do my CBT program, pray, and think positive and most importantly, {I think} distract myself and take the focus off myself and live life, and like you try to ignore some of the symptoms and not dwell, at least I see it now, I just have to DO it and believe in it!! and myself.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Debora

Very good post.

Next step. How much time do you have? Can you spend some time posting the good things you do and your accomplishments? This surprisingly simple thing will get positives into your memory and help with the worry. Even just posting that you took the dogs for a walk and where you went and what you saw will help. Things that you take for granted will not stay in your memory as well as they will if you share them. Written word is stored different than thought. Same as negatives and positives, they are stored in different pockets. By writing you open a priority path that effects your attitude and emotions. If you write positives every thing you do around that time will be influenced by the positive path you have opened. Try it and see if it works for you. We really are interested in the positive things you do. Do any baking? tell us. What was for supper? What is your family's favourite meal. Sounds boring? Maybe, but these are positives. Even if all you do is think these positives it will help but not as much as writing them. You can use "buts" too. EG. I had a bad day, but this is what was good about it. That sort of thing. CBT is about changing thought patterns and done by changing thoughts. Writing increases the effect of this changing thoughts.

By the way you are getting better even if it is slow. It is noticeable.

As for the headaches they are probably normal for the stress.

I have an ulcer I think. I wouldn't mind if it made my stomach sore but it makes my back and chest sore. Some times things are not what they seem. This I must admit annoys me. But since I'm doing all I can I'll just ignore it as best as I can and get on with life.

Davit.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 30

Hi Debora. I have been reading all the posts this week following your message. You and I are quite similar in a lot of ways, thankfully however, I am lucky to have a supportive husband. I too also say that I need to get better for other people rather than myself and I do find that I feel very guilty when I am anxious, which sadly at the moment is quite a lot. I tend to feel unreal when I am anxious which is scary. Following from another of your posts Santa bought my my monthly present on Christmas day and I am still suffering a bit now (tired and busy). I am finding this site such a great support though and I hope that 2012 is a good one for us all. Take Care love Matilda x

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 373

Hi Debora,

Wishing you well today. I hope that your to-do list includes walking the dogs, reading, watching a really good tv program, smiling and maybe just a few seconds of silly dancing to see if that helps to brighten your day any!

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

Hi Davit,

I was going to write back sooner but I got sidelined by another bad headache! I had to lie down for awhile, this is the second night in a row a bad headache, it must be nerves or stress, as you know its been stressful at my home lately so I guess headaches are normal, I read somewhere headaches are the number one reason people visit the Doctor, usually stress related.

I understand, I think, what you mean about CBT, I dont share it with my husband too much because I dont think he believes it will work for me, but I am not letting that discourage me, my therapist has been trying too do that with me and has not had much luck so maybe that is why my husband feels the way he does, it did help with the panic attacks now I am hoping it will help with the bodily symptoms and severe health anxiety, I have that one bad so perhaps I need more time doing it, I do believe positive thinking in replacing the negative is crucial too recovery, I just have to believe it in my mind, I do not know why I think the way I do, I really despise it but its almost like I cannot help myself, I am happy the panic attacks have decreased but I MUST get a handle on my fear worry and health concerns, that I feel is ruining my life and my marriage, other than this program and my Aunt I have gone it alone, and its a hard one too try to re-train youre brain, especially since I have always been a worrier and had fears, even if they decreased I would be happy, just some calm and peace in my life.

I do love to walk my dogs and they love it too and I love too read, and watch a good TV program, these things distract me and help me, maybe I have too much time on my hands too "think" people have said that too me. I guess its not going to be easy but crucial for me too get better, I have to STOP worrying and I think everything will fall into place, you asked if worry ever made me feel better and no it never has Davit, never, it just exhausts me and makes me fearful and depressed, I have to let the worry go.....and I know it will feel so good!

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Debora

I didn't explain that very good. I'm going to see if Sunny will. It boils down to most men are dominant and most women are passive care givers. It is when a person goes from being a caring person to excessive care (worry especially) that the problem begins. Because women are hard wired to take care of others that they have a hard time taking care of themselves first. And taking care of yourself is necessary for CBT to work.

Davit.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Debora.

Read my post again. CBT is a personal thing. I mean you are to be the only one with any say in how you do it. You can share how you are doing it and how you are doing but you can not have anyone influencing you. You still have other people in your program. You can not worry about other people right now and do CBT at the same time. One cancels out the other. Concern yes.

Worry no. Every time you worry about what some one else (in this case, your husband) thinks you lose ground. Ignore what he says or thinks. He is frustrated because he doesn't understand. Concern is looking at the situation, accepting it for what it is, doing what you can, in most cases nothing and dropping it. This is you having control.

Worry is the situation or someone else having control. Think about it, has worry ever made you feel better. It can't, worry is negative and a waste of time that could be better used relaxing and thinking positive.

What are your interests? Do you have any hobbies? What can you do to keep your mind off worrying about what others think? Can you walk the dogs and look around without worrying?

This is what I mean by not having anyone else in your program. Just you alone influencing the outcome. Does this make sense to you?

Davit.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

Thanks Hugs,

Maybe I will call them. It was a inexpensive Sandwitch the sad thing about it is that I could always tolerate that and keep it down, plain chicken breast with tomatoes lettuce and onion and mayo, very bland, and now I dont think I will ever eat it again! Unless it was something else, at least the headache let up somewhat just still very queasy and weak, I dont know if thats from the food or crying because of my husbands comment, probably a combination, just rice tonight and some toast, I so hate getting physically sick because, like Davit mentioned the anxiety and panic go through the roof! I was convinced I was having a stroke last night, I really in my mind thought it and nothing I did could stop the thoughts, then not only being sick I got scared and my hubby's comment was like the straw that broke the camels back. I feel very weak but I still walked a little, trying so hard to get back up on my feet and not let this drag me back down into the panic pit. I never thought food could make your head hurt so bad, stomach yes, but you would not think food. Wish me luck guys through this. Thank you.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

Deborah,

Why not compose a letter for the restaurant you were sick at, and get a refund, at least? With the advent of the internet, no business can afford bad publicity. At least you'll get something out of a negative experience. Also, you'll get re-enforcement for asserting yourself, since it sounds like your hubby wasn't supportive this time.

Your posts are easy to read, so I think you have a good chance. It's the principle that's important if you have the luxury of time, and you can share the success with us, since we will support you. Ask us for advice, since I'm sure complaining is something many viewers/members can comment on. Directing something negative to the soure is something I feel is important for my mental and physical being.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

Thank you all for you're replies. I was very ill last night, but I know this was physical, I have eaten there before and walked right after, I think it was just a "bad" sandwitch, my head hurt so bad and I did get so naucous and sick, a little better today, just no appetite and queasy and a little shaken up, hope its was just a food reaction or a brief bug, it bothered me through.

My husband got angry with me because I was sick, I think he thought it was panic and it was NOT. He made a comment and I broke down and cried after he went too bed he said "I cant wait too go too work and get away from this crap" That was like a slap in the face! and he said it in front of my son, he apologized today and seemed sorry but sometimes the damage is done by words, even people with health anxiety get sick, I know he is tired from working but he must watch what he says, his father was like this, kind of verbally abusive and I told him, pleaded with him more like it that comments like that do not help me with recovery they just set me back and make me feel worse and more guilty about myself, trying to put it behind me but it did bother me, I am still a little shaky from the attack the day after Christmas then getting sick the next day, I am trying to stay strong and positive, a hard thing for me, I know this has been hard on my family and I am trying so hard to get better, I love them so much, but Davit said CBT is a personal thing, and I dont share that too much with my family.

Thank you all for you're suggestions it made me feel a little calmer knowing you all have went through it and survived, I even drank a ginger ale and I never drink soda so I knew I was ill. I am drinking a lot of water today and trying to take it easy, I will wait awhile after eating too walk maybe that will help, thank you all, thank you so much.

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