Regarding the turtle pics:
I cannot find where to change my profile picture. Can anyone help?
Regarding the symptoms and what percentage of happiness can be obtained, I would say I am 50-50 right now. I told my new pschychiatrist that and he said, "you mean you're failing?" I balked for a second and said I feel good sometimes and bad sometimes. That's 50-50.
Before all this panic and confusion and anxiety and OCD and foggy memory and depression started this time around, I would say I was about 75-80% much of the time. Still had some problems, but I could confront them or they'd just be around a little while (25% of the time). It's just that this time it lasted past those months where it still could be called SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder).
Today starts my second week of Lexapro. What I felt the first week were minimal symptoms. Some digestion. Some of what I described yesterday, and a bit of unease with some dissociation or derealization mixed in. Davit said the first week must have been all me making myself feel good because it doesn't work that fast. This I trust.
I worked 5 hours today, and did not have the same feeling as yesterday, but I was still in a fog and still was about 50%. It also doesn't help that nothing stays the same at work. They are always tinkering with our heads.
My latest really bad anxiety period did worsen over the winter, as I stated, but got worse over time. Back in December, I had bad OCD about something possibly being wrong with my colon. Turned out to be kidney stones, but I know stress played a part. The stones were what landed me in the ER the day after Christmas. I thought maybe I was building the whole thing up in my head. That was also around the time we had to put our cat down. That's the cat my Wife had since 1991. It made me feel helpless that I could not make my wife's pain go away.
But anyway, I a rambling. I need to make another appointment with my therapist.
I must add that I do feel a little something happening from the Lexapro. I know far better feelings are not far off.
David
