So I haven't really been doing planned exposure work at all. More or less, everything has been last minute, unprepared planning with friends, in situations where I don't really test my anxiety too much. E.G. last weekend I went 4 wheeling, all decided the morning of. Other weekends I've gone out last second, as a result of hearing/saying "Oh, so this is happening here? Lets go!"....or "I'm bored, lets go here, or here". My friends make the plans and I go. Although it has been really helpful overall, as I'm still facing my anxiety and coming out on top, I'm not ok with doing it this way all the time...
I guess the plan, is to start doing some real planned daily exposure work. Sure, still take on the unexpected plans, but actively make plans to go here and there, or do this and that.
So my thing, I've come to learn, is that I'm terrible at social activities...social interactions in general. I can face them much better then before, but still only for a limited time. I've had to face them a lot lately, and done fairly well anxiety wise, but it's time I started facing them outside of my work and comfort zone. Don't have the money to do much, if anything...but there are a lot of free local happenings which I can peruse. For the most part, I can expect to do these alone...so they will be true tests!
I'm kinda feeling excitement where the anxiety used to be...is this a high measure of my progress?
Cheers to next week, I'm either gonna come out on top, or frazzled with a lot of lessons written in my book...either way I'm letting myself step into that scary unknown for the longer and more intense times.
-The only way you can truly be free is to face that which consumes you.
