Hello Everyone,
I read and re-read all you're posts, such a wealth of knowledge and information, I go back and read all the posts and that helps.
That is so wonderful Carmie that the fear is decreasing for you about bodily symptoms, I loved to read that for you, that is what I am trying to do now. Like today I woke up {for the third day in a row} with a terrible headache, I am trying not too dwell on it almost I want to "ignore" it because it concerns and scares me, also I am still having my monthly {day five} so that never helps, I do not walk when I have my monthly, I am afraid too, so I think when my walking resumes I will feel better, that walk every evening helps me physically and emotionally, I am hoping to walk a little tonight before the rain hits us too hard tonight.
I understand what you mean about the "must" and "should" Sunny, and Ashley is so right what an excellent point, the dogs will like playing snowball, my dogs would love that to, too bad they all cannot get together and run around that would be fun.
Davit what you said about the thought patterns really hit home. My thoughts are what, I believe, are stopping me from recovering. For awhile I was doing better, I have noticed the last week the thoughts are "creeping" up again, I almost had a full-blown the other day and that shook me, when you do not have an attack for awhile the mind kinda "forgets" how bad it can be then you are reminded, but again I am trying NOT to let it set me back, trying to think "just a bad day, will get better",
I know in my heart and brain what needs too be done, I have to stop dwelling on the bodily symptoms and taking too my bed just so they will stop and I have to cease thinking about illness disease and dying, if I could accomplish these two things the overall quality of my life would so much improve, its better, but I know I am not where I could be right now, I hate taking the klonopin but it does help and I could not go cold-turkey anyway, one day hopefully I can wean off them for good.
I have a question. How did you all know when you were "recovered" or at least better?? Did it go back and forth or just keep going uphill? and how did you not let setbacks and symptoms scare you and set you back? Did it take a long time?
Carmie what you said about being with the family and making memories was so profound, that is what I want, what a beautiful thing! You have all been like family too me and I thank you, I am so grateful for this site and all of you.