Hello Everyone,
Thank you for you're advice and concern. I think everyone would be proud of me today! I actually cleaned my house spotless, vacum, mop, dust, bathrooms, linens etc........My house looks better than it has in months! I dont know what prompted me to do it, I must be getting better? I hope that is the reason. The chest pain and jaw pain kind of went away, thank God, I had walked my dogs that night and they pulled me something terribly, so maybe it was, as Davit mentioned, muscular related, I only smoked 2 cigarettes today, just enough to prevent withdrawal, which can mimic panic and I dont want that, I am just so pleased and happy I cleaned today and was able to do it, its sounds mundane I know but I did it!
I feel very weak right now through, and tired, did I overdo it?? Sunny warned me not too but it just felt so good to do it and I was afraid to let the moment pass, does that make sense? I have not eaten all day so that is what causing my weakness, I feel a little shaky right now, I think I did too much, perhaps once I get some food I will be better, I am SO glad those symptoms went away, they were so scary, I hope smoking very little, eating healthy and walking my dogs will help me along with the CBT, I am "working" it Davit since I cannot take the SSRI's and I am afraid to take the older kind cause my blood pressure will go up, I felt productive today but why do I feel weak and shaky now? I should be happy all I did. Sunny said it would take awhile to regain my energy and she is SO right. Thank you all for you're prayers and letters, hopefully in the next coming weeks things will improve even more, I just so want my life back and to live again, I am trying. Thank you, Deb.