EvolutionHealth.care

Home
Main Forum
Anxiety
Coping with Setbacks
New year same thing

Advanced Search Form

New year same thing

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 250

Are you having issues at work?

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

SP,

I like how you were mindful of your boss' response, showing your having the upper hand. You have more control than you think, and I wish I had done that since it's too late now.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 250

I think this is a cycle and I am determined to break it. I think I test a lot, meaning I want to work somewhere where they will treat me well. I had to call in today as my daughter was sick. I was terrified but it served as a test, my boss was super understanding and was great about it. So now I feel good.

When I was a child if I got sick my Mother would yell and blame etc. All my siblings even my Dad were constantly being sick and calling in to work/school. My Mother was not understanding at all. Maybe this is why I worry about fitting in, being accepted. I think I mostly realized this today after I call in.

I plan on trying to keep this job at least until the summer. The bills will be paid and things will be in order. I think I would then like to think about just subbing, being able to be called in when needed and being able to turn down shifts if necessary. I think this would be best for me. It wouldn't be full time but that is ok. My personality is one that needs a bit of flexibility.

So today I will relax, help my daughter to feel better and I will try not to feel guilty and make myself sick worrying. I never realized that you can in fact worry yourself sick.

As for thought patterns I have come to realize that I am my own best friend or coach. Saturday I was feeling horrible, like a loser when I suddenly stopped the internal chatter. I was really beating myself up inside. I had a nap and felt better. I ignored the chatter and just said to myself "this to" and "I know I can cope".

It sounds corny but it works.

I think I will take all of this one step at a time. I tend to rush ahead, predict etc. I am learning presence.

Thanks Davit! For a bit of a kick in the pants. I needed that.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Sunflower

I am really sorry this happened to you but it looks like it was predestined to.

CBT is about thought patterns. What I'm about to say I want you to know is from a friend who wants not only to support you but wants to give you something that works even though it may not make sense.

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. We think different. Women are more caring. Women give of themselves for the sake of others. And here lies the problem.

To do CBT you have to do it for you, not for any other reason. You have to change your thought patterns and this will also take a slight change in personality. This job you are doing according to your post, you are doing for all the wrong reasons. This is what is holding you back and causing you to recycle the same situation over and over.

If you do this job, or any job for you, and here I mean because you want to, not because you have to then you will actually be doing it for the reasons your caring personality wants. EG. for the money, for your family, to help.

The key words here are for you and because you want to. Not because you have to or because it is what you are trained for. "Have to" is negative and damaging.

Doing it for any reason other than that you want to does not help you. It leaves you out of the equation, and that is wrong because you are the one with the condition.

If you go to work tomorrow with the attitude that you want to do this because you can and it will help and that because you want to you will find a solution to every problem because you are good and can do this you will succeed. This is positive. And remember, you come first, you are doing it for you. Do this and you will be doing it for all the other reasons also without the load.

If you go because you have to which is negative then you will increase the load till it is unbearable and the cycle will begin again.

If this doesn't work then you need to take a job you can do no matter how poor the pay because you need to break the cycle.

Want to rather than have to really does work. Even people who thrive on "have to" are really doing it because they want to.

This is CBT. This is changing thought patterns and attitude and in some cases even personality to achieve a goal. The goal being to get rid of a condition that is limiting you.

Good luck tomorrow, We are with you, no matter what you choose. I hope you will give this a try though. It works for me and I see it works for others here too.

Davit.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1071

Not Quite Twenty Questions:

Are you making a hard situation more difficult and unbearable by your choice of words? Can you make it easier by the way you think about it? Can you enjoy Saturday and Sunday and live in the moment and not think ahead about work on Monday? Since you can't change the past about student loans, can you choose not to dwell on what you can't change? Can you find the positive about your job? No matter what the job, there will always be things a person doesn't like about it, but can you focus on the good parts of it, like helping out with finances, etc.? If you apply the coping skills, it doesn't change the situation, it changes how you handle it and think about it.

Shari

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2606

Hi sunflower painter,

I am sorry that this is a challenging time for you. You need to know that you are a unique and capable individual and we are here to support you. I really hope that working through the panic program can help you to cope with the given circumstances.

It sounds to me like these circumstances may not change in the near future so what steps can you begin to take if you can't solve it all right now?

Samantha, Health Educator

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 250

I am in the middle of a panic attack because it is Saturday which makes tomorrow Sunday and then that leads to Monday and back to working full time.

My job did go well for the first day and the second and third weren't too bad but I really don't like the actual job of it. I guess it will have to do as my husband needs me to work and I have stupid student loans which I wish I never took in the first place.

I dread it. I dread the job. I hate that I am always walking on egg shells just waiting for the child I work with to explode as he has explosive rage issues and abuse issues. I come home and scrub myself clean because I am worried about bringing home lice, scabies etc. Sometimes I just wish things could have turned out for the better.

I tried finding part time work but couldn't so I panicked and ended up stuck again in a job I didn't want to do.

I suppose I will just have to suck it up for my familys sake. I will numb myself and try to get a higher dosage of my antidepressants. I need something to get me through this experience.

Thank goodness the money isn't too bad because that is all this is about.

Life stinks but I love my daughter and will focus on her.

Sunflower

PS- now thanks to this job I had to cancel my cake decorating courses because I need time to disinfect myself after work and I wouldn't make it on time to classes. Here I go again sacrificing everything. But then again, I suppose I am not as important as my husband and daughter.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Sunflower

Congratulations.

Here for you definitely.

Davit

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1071

Yea! I'm glad it was a positive experience, so you can keep building these good experiences up, and before you know it you'll just be going to work and not thinking about it anymore. And, any stress and/or anxiety will subside. I'm proud of you. One step at a time builds success.

Shari

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 250

I agree Davit, I decided to just look at the positives. I did my first day of work today and it went well! A much different daycare than I have worked in before.

I am cautiously optimistic :)

I am also tired and looking forward to going to sleep. What a day!

Sunflower

PS- thanks for the support!

Reading this thread:

today's top discussions:

This Month’s Leaders:

Most Supportive

Most Active

Most Loved

New year same thing