I have now actually geared up myself to fight against anxiety.I am now taking care of what really made me anxious.Previously anxiety treatment was secondry for me;now it is primary and money is secondry. And you wud be happy to know I feel better & normal.The status & money is nothing if you are depressed & anxious.
I now spent some time with my children nd parents.We share our thoughts,luv each other nd live happily.
In india we have a culture of joint family;living together with parents & children.This makes me feel gud.I feel very lonely in my previous job when my parents were not with me.
You wud be surprised to know my parents at age of 65 still takes care of me.And this is our tradition.I have 2 kids-one daughter 6 yrs nd son 1.25 yrs.I am now 33.Some I get anxious about my children.We here do not live in present.We live in future say after 5 yrs.I think for my child education-best education which I received;his carrer opportunities;finding a gud living home for children which my father provided..
Wud I be able to provide all these things to my children which I received all in my childhood.-This thought sometimes make me anxious.
My wife is keen to be teacher;so looking for an opportunity.
Yes this is how it goes, first you have to fix the anxiety then work on status and self esteem. You are very lucky to have support so you can take time doing this. You are the only one who can judge how much work you can handle and how much stress from it. I think right now status is bothering you more than anything. In time you may want to try for more status which will increase self esteem. This would qualify as exposure and be a marker of how well you are handling anxiety. Again, when is your decision.
How many children? I do not have any and that I think was a mistake on my part.
Here it is not unusual for a husband to take care of the children and the wife to work. Usually as a school teacher. There are two in this valley doing just that. There may be others. There may be lots I don't know of.
nice to see your reply.It feels gud to share myself with you.Actually I am currently doing non binding work.It is my will to do or not.I get paid for hourly basis.It depends when work comes,I get called up.When no work,no money.I am getting only a handful amount only.I feels sometimes low but then there is peace of mind.I talk about my doctor regarding my weakness but there is only professional reply;u get well with time.
My family is happy because I m not suffering from anxiety now as I used to have previously which really made me very low & physically weak.The positive thing is that I am alone son of my parents.My parents earned quite good in their times.So financially I will have no problem even if I do not earn anything.Yet it is the social status which really hurts me.I have withdrawl myself from all my previous contacts because of my status.My social status has gown down now .My father is 65 now who is the biggest supporting personality for me.
Then what to do;I have to live for my kids who are now the reason of my living.
It is good to see you are still with us. It is good to see you are doing something that works for you too. When you figure you are stable enough you could add some stress to see how you manage it. Often it is not as bad as the thought of it is. As for money could you do some part time work in a non binding job you can leave if you don't like it without it affecting your present job. This may not be a good idea if it interferes with your time with family. I'm sure you will figure things out. Do you really need more money or is this a hold over from previous days? How does your family feel?
I have been able to come out a long way to manage my depression.Now days I am not taking big responsibilities as they seems not to support nd creates lots of anxiety.I tried to do but its been tough for me.So I have chosen what really appeals/interests me.But the thing is get I am now getting weak from money point of view as my salary is quite low now.But what to do?
I have to manage myself & offcourse peace of mind is the biggest thing I was searching for.Thanks to my parents & wife who are supporting me in this toughtime.
I also manage myself by spending my time with my kids which I missed in my previous job.
Well ashley you asked about relaxation technique called 'sudarshan kriya'.Its a blend of light exercise, yoga, pranayam & meditation;based on rhythmic pattern of breathing. Check out the link http://www.artofliving.org/sudarshan-kriya-benefits you will find some extreme benefits.
of this practice.Google for 'sri sri ravishankar ji,benefits of sudarshan kriya';you will find some good answers for managing your depression thru sudarshan kriya.I do this practice under trainer every sunday;and really finds something gud from it to manage myself.
Patience my friend, it does get better but it takes time. Life is tough, more so for you than me but I went through my tough period and am still glad I settled for what I did. When I look back I look at the happy periods and some how the tough times seem worth it. I'm poor but content with what I have. I have enough, I'd like more of course but happiness really is where you find it.
Good to hear from you.
Davit.
PS I started in electronics and gave it up very soon even though I loved it and it fascinated me.
its been long I posted on the site.Now better than before. Offcourse now doing job of low profile & salary as compared to my education.I am trying to accept the way I am.Yes at some point of life we have to do this. Offcourse peace of mind is the most important thing to achieve.Now joined relaxation technique "sudarshan kriya" which is believed to lessen the depression nd anxiety to a considerable extent.
All that I experience is that Life is really tough....but u have to live it
What you have is not a lot different than my Agoraphobia. I sit in front of this computer and find it hard to believe the journey I made into the land of fear and out the other side. It is hard to believe I made that journey but I did and it was terrible. It was like going to another world where I didn't fit in and didn't know how to do anything. On top of that my body kept non functioning. Some days I felt like I was having a stroke. It is all gone except for the memory which is weak but still there. I can handle it though with a combination of assertive and coping skills. Because I do this without thinking I have to be pretty sad to notice there is anything wrong. The core beliefs are still there and always will be, they just have no power anymore. They are just reminders of how I believed something that was not true.
You can get rid of the fear and the embarrassment that goes with it by challenging and countering the core beliefs with new ones. There are three things necessary to do this. Perception: your family can help by showing you where you are wrong. Attitude: This covers a lot and sometimes people fall out here. You have to want to do this real bad. You have to be assertive with yourself because it is yourself in the form of core beliefs that is stopping you. And the most important one. Belief: You have to really believe not only that you can do this but that the new core beliefs and thought patterns you build are true.
There are some minor little things also like repetition that help you do this and there are exercises to test if it is working. Exposure is one but I firmly believe you have to be able to cope at least 80% in the real world first before using this.
Remember you are not alone. One in four has some mental problem. There are a lot of people using all the things CBT teaches without even realizing they are doing it. You will too. You will make this journey and I feel you have the strength to win. I will support you and not let you give up. It is worth it. Winning is like living in paradise.
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