Hello Everyone,
I have probably been in denial all week, I was so hoping with the strong antibotics, hot soup and drinks and honey, etc..... This would be gone and its not, I am on day 9 of my antibotics if it truely was a infection I would of been better by now and I am not, my voice is barely there, and my ear is hurting worse, the antibotics did not help and that is what is scaring the heck out of me, I did everything the doctor said and I am no better, in fact the ear is worse and I cannot speak at all, this is so very scary.
I am convinced it is throat cancer or cancer of the laranyx. The two main symptoms are hoarseness that does not go away with treatment and gets worse AND sharp pain radiating to the ear and I have both very badly, you would not think ear pain would be a symptom of throat cancer but apparently the tumor sits on the nerve that connects it, I cannot believe I have cancer, my worst fear come true! The pain is bad but the panic and fear is worse, I have seen pictures of people who have a hole in their throat and talk thru a little microphone, if I survive the surgery and radiation, I know I will not get through this.
Its going to be hard to even get on the phone and call ENT doctors with no voice and then I have to get the courage to get there and have them stick a camera down my throat! and then hearing the words, I know in my heart I will not be able to take it, I am not strong anymore, this last year of panic has exhausted all my strength and courage, I have nothing to fight with. I have tried everything to convince myself its NOT cancer but the antibotic did nothing for the pain and symptoms.
How am I going to tell my son? I am sitting here crying because I dont know what to do or where to go. I always thought it would be my heart not cancer, if would be useless to go back to urgent care because he did tell me if I was not better in seven or ten days to see a ENT doc, which terrifies me. I am praying I am wrong but I do not think I am.
to it.
