Today I was reading a book about hopice work, and the common comment struck me that the eyes are the "windows to the soul", so some may be protective about their soul, understandably
I watched a singer named Julio Iglesias(senior) speak of the importance of "eyes" in his youtube video before a concert. He stated that in Europe, the small rooms and homes force people to learn to "...make love with the eyes.." since the alternative is too noisy and disruptive to close neighbours.
That's news to me in the relatively spacious North American communities built on independence with boundries
I tried this at the gym, but not many people at the gym are looking at each other.
For those who are looking at each other, use eye contact to add to the conversation. I suppose if you don't have vision, you have to highten your other senses.
What was funny was some people noticed me watching, and would change their behaviour, or look at me.
I just realized I may have been squinting too, since I don't wear contacts in the gym, or I was holding the gaze too long.
Ashley,
To get past any uneasiness, I'd just watch the wonderful you tube videos on eye anatomy. Aparently there are 3 layers in the eye. So maybe I'd imagine going for a swim in person's eyes...you have to see the video to appreciate the design of our eyes!
There's nothing like a swim a warm buoyant sea of liquid. The problem is what do you do with people with sunglasses
What a creative idea Hugs! You are right, it can be tough to know how long to look someone in the eye. I don't think it would be possible to know an exact time that is appropriate and then count out the seconds, look away and look back in a timed manner. That would take away from your attention to what the person is actually saying. If you are really listening and focusing on what the person is saying then you will naturally look an appropriate amount of time at the eye but this is easier said then done. So the question is, how can one get past the anxiety and really listen to the individual in front of you? hmmmmmm
Yes I did. What I found difficult, and find difficult now, is how long it's okay to look, without making the person feel uncomfortable.
On the bus recently, i honestly, was concerned with mom's health. I think I can understand why the eyes are the portals to the soul. I think I just forgot myself, and forgot my sense of time.
I also believe in more strongly in the "equity" argument for women in pay. I had an OMG moment when I purchased cotton pads at the drug store and then started to extrapolate the costs to women for makeup, cosmetics, clothing, tanning, esthetics....
To get back to looking for eye colour as part of exposure to distract oneself from discomfort...
What's the appropriate amount of time for a person to look into another person's eyes without creeping them out(assuming a man doesn't look like Justin Beiber or George Clooney or their female equivalents)
Welcome to the PC support group. Have you had a chance to look through the program that is available to you in the toolbox section? I recommend this as it helps you work through thought patterns... it may help you better understand where these thoughts stem from. I can imagine it is very distracting and awkward in certain social situations to avoid eye contact.
What is it that you fear will happen when you look into people's eyes?
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made me laugh!
Vincenza, Health Educator 
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