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Scared to go to Appt

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Scared to go to Appt

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

I just read the post Vincenzia and yes how right you are it was a good one and hit home with me and so true. Thanks for telling me to read it. I had some an awful terrible day I needed some insight and hope and that gave it me.

I am glad this day is over! My husband seems alright from his accident, it was his company work truck which was one good thing and he is not hurt which is the most important thing. I have a bad stomache ache and I am going to try to rest, I did not eat much or well today at all. Here is hoping tommorow will be a better more peaceful calm day for me and for all of us!!

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

Thank you Vincenzia I will read that article that you recommended. I appreciate it.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

I just got home a few minutes ago. What a grueling day! What I did not know is my husband had a minor car accident at work today, he is alright but the work truck is pretty destroyed, this happened an hour before he got home, I guess it never stops.

I somehow got to my appt, that is the good news, I think Davit was on track, she is mostly about meds and really cannot help me with the other problems I have, I asked some questions pertaining too my worry and fear and she said to address that with my therapist, which I do, I dont think the nurse thinks he is helping me, after almost a year she thinks I should be better, she told me not to worry, worry is a waste of time, that I know, but easier said than done isn't it? Especially given the fact I have a unhealthy over-worked husband, and a special-needs child, and panic disorder, I mean how can one NOT worry at times?

I think she is just going to be about medication and thats it, She did not seem to want to get into the other things, the whole appt lasted less than 20 minutes, hard to cover a lot in that time. I want to change therapists but what if I get someone even worse? I have not had good luck in that dept, the nurse is good at meds, she would like me to go on an antidepressant along with the benzo, but is worried about how badly I handle the side effects and how ill it made me ending up in ER one night.

She did say to continue the CBT and medication, and she said medicine does not do everything {I know its only a band-aid} and to work with therapist, I am doing all the right things it seems why is it taking SO darned long too get better, will this fear and worry ever go away? or at least decrease? I feel like I cry out for help to these people I am paying and I get no anwers, maybe they do not have the answers, maybe its up to me, I am glad I went tonight but was hoping for more insight and hope and I did not really get that, am I expecting too much? Maybe this never really goes away completely, I just do not know?!

I did make it Vincenzia I just wish I could have more hope for the future, the really really good therapists cost a fortune, like $200.00 dollars an hour and we cannot afford that, thank God I have this site. I am trying to remain optomistic, maybe the nurse and therapist have helped as much as they can and thats it, I do not know? Well I made it tonight that is something to be positive about I just wish I got more insight about my condition.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1853

Hi Deb,

I hope as I write this that you were able to make it to your Dr.'s appt and that you are glad you went and getting the information you need.

I just read a very motivating post on a thread entitled "Sharing where you are now".

When you have the chance read through it as I think it is a helpful reminder of how strong the connection is between our thought processes and physical well-being.

Wishing you a good night and restful sleep,

Vincenza, Health Educator

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

I am so ready to cancel, I am so dizzy and I am having left arm pain and chest discomfort, I am so afraid, and I know I have to calm down or my husband will get mad and the nurse does not like to see me in this condition, which I find strange because THAT is the whole reason I see her! My son is not coming home from school, he defied us and went to a baseball game right after school instead of coming home, now I have to worry about him! My husband has to rush me to my appt, wait half an hour, then take me home, and then go three cities over to pick him up later, and its a work night and he is exhausted, now I am not only worried about my appt a I am worried about my son! My husband is dead tired and should not be driving so much.

Its ironic isn't it I go to this woman for my nerves and fear and worry and the appt's cause me MORE worry fear and anxiety, I mean whats the use, my heart is even skipping beats right now! I so hope everything goes well, I hope Sunny it turns out just like you say, this is why I cannot even go for a mamogram, please wish me luck I really need it.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

Thanks so much everyone,

The appt is in two hours, I make them for the evening because my husband does not get off work till 5:00 and I feel "safer" in the evening when its darker, I know thats sounds strange and crazy that I feel safer in the dark instead of the daylight but for some reason I do, maybe its because I know I will not see too many people and its cooler and not as crowded.

I am very nervous, about the drive, about whats going to happen, I worry about a car accident or passing out, I know all those terrible "what-if's" I am trying to use the 10 questions to and breathing to calm myself, but its very hard, my heart is racing and I just want it over with! That is a comforting thought Sunny about being home and cozy when its all over with, I am holding on to that thought trying to go with it. I wish my primary care would give me my Klonopin Ashley so I would not have to travel so far from home and be scared, but he wont, he will NOT prescribe any psych med at all, even through I take a low dose and never abuse it, I so hope it goes well tonight, I hope I have the courage to go and not keel over or make a fool of myself, I do not want to have a panic attack, how I wish she would just do phone sessions it would help me so much.

My husband does walk me in usually Davit, but then goes and sits in the car, I wish he would wait in the waiting room in case I have to bolt out, I will ask him to go in with me tonight maybe that would help me a little and she would be nicer. Acually Hugs there are not too many nurses I can change too, she is the closest all the other ones relocated or retired, she is not terrible or anything its just I think she wishes I was better and thinner, and believe me I want to be but it takes time I know.

I am going to TRY to shower and get ready now and hope to make it. I will write back either way, thank you so much for posting me back with these wonderful replies, I wish I could take one of you with me tonight, wouldn't that be great? but I dont know if you guys would like it! I have to do this, if I fall apart my husband will me so mad, please send luck and prayers my way, and I will write back and tell you all about it, I need to do this somehow someway, thank you all so so much.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

I'm going to disagree with everyone. You are going to this nurse for Meds yes? You are getting meds because you are not healed yes? You are basically going shopping yes?

So I would think you need only to be able to go and get them and go home for now. I would think you are adding on too much load. You need the meds so that is the priority. Sometimes things get in the way and just have to be set aside. I think and this is only me and it works for me that you need a mantra you can repeat over and over to distract you and keep you on track.

I also wonder why your husband if he is going with you is not holding your hand also. Can he not go in with you.

Davit.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11215

Hi Debora,

Did you end up going to the appointment? Are you still deciding whether or not you should go?

In either case, the treatment you received from the nurse practitioner seems very insensitive and unnecessary. It would be completely understandable if you wanted to find a different nurse to visit.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi Deb: I hope I'm not too late with this post. Wanted to wish you successful appt. I do remember times exactly as you stated in your post when I really really did not want to go. It was very difficult and emotionally draining. What I focused on was the relief I would feel when it was over and how I could be home again with a cup of tea/coffee snug and cozy again but with answers to my questions instead of guessing what was wrong. My bp was always high because of the anticipatory anxiety before going - felt ill before going too. My doctor understood these things and was helpful. She assured me that she had other patients who felt exactly the same way and that under these circumstances, it was normal. So, hoping your doctor does the same to reassure you that it is o.k. that it will pass.

Hang in there Deb., we are holding your hand through it. Let us know how it went and we can celebrate together your successful visit - whether you are nervous about it or not, the success comes in the going, in the doing, in the not letting it stop you from seeking help. Good luck.

Sunny

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

Dear Debora,

It sounds hard to motivate yourself to go to these appointments, and I've felt that.

If there is an option to change to another nurse, can you continue with this one, with a long range plan to switch. I've had that situation, and it's not productive.

Overall, I can see you commitment, and its admirable.

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