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Accomplishments and other Postive Things

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 420

Hi sunny,

Thanks for the great ideas. I will add them to my arsenal for the next time I have to be out in a busy store.

Red

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Red I was on your right side most of the time and don't have to many bruises, But it is so hard not to bang into things when you don't know where you are. Congratulations. One more step on the road to freedom.

Your friend

Davit.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 420

Davit,

I am very excited and just had to update you on how it went today. I thought about what you said and decided to use your approach with the shopping situation. I made four stops today. First two stops were sewing shops looking for parts. You were so right about other people being stressed. Peggie the clerk from yesterday was wonderful today. Her store was not busy and she was very relaxed, she even gave us a coupon for bakery were she buys discount bread. She asked how I was doing today and offered me a piece of bread. I told her yesterday that I was a bit agoraphobic and a recluse and getting to her shop was hard for me. We also stopped at another shop for parts and the owner was very friendly, showed me how to oil my machine and we all talked and had a good time. He is ordering me a part. Next we decided to reward ourselves with donuts and bread from the bakery. We stopped to eat out and at a large discount grocery store. I though or you and remembered what you said and I looked around at the people like you said and just smiled at all the up tight people and I felt Good. No anxiety No stress No panic.

It was so nice having you with me today. I would never of figured it out or been able to do it without you. I even saved you a donut because you are so sweet. Thank you Davit for caring and for showing me the way to sanity. I am so glad you were there with me today and here with me also. You are a very very special person and a Dear Dear friend.

Your Friend Forever,

Red

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi Red: I used to feel nervous too going to the cash and sometimes waited until no one else was there. However, in a busy store you can't always do that. Another thing that bothered me was buying new things I didn't know much about and hoping I had the right ones. It's easy to get flustered then. When waiting with all the commotion around, I would focus on any art work hanging on the walls, posters, etc. I would try and figure out the colour of the walls, what do they use for window dressing. Things like that. Another way to keep things straight in the confusion of the moment, was to have a pen handy so I could cross off my list the items I purchased. Maybe you could do that if the cashier waits on someone else while serving you. It was easier to see if I missed anything. Hope some of these ideas are helpful to you. Good luck tomorrow if you go back to the store.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Red

A lot of store clerks do this in the name of efficiency. Few get it right. When done right you can ring in a second persons purchase and take there money with out taking your concentration from the first, but it is a bit of an art. I was a counter man in a welding supply store. Quite often I would be looking up parts or information for one person and ringing in small purchases for another. But the primary person is not supposed to feel left out. Since your clerk doesn't seem to be able to do this you will just have to put up with it, but remember she is the one with the defect not you. Don't forget distractions, you can count or do a mantra silently. How about repeating silently "you are such a cow". Surprisingly frowning will bring on anxiety yet smiling will hold it at bay. I have no idea why this works but it does. Something to do with being sad or mad being negative and being happy being positive. There is always window shopping. Wander around looking at nothing till the clerk is not busy and then do what you have to. These are all ways of coping but the best for you is still to treat it like exposure. Just do it and survive it, after all you did it before. When you get tense just look to the side and I will be there with you. See if you can guess which side I'm on. (more distracting) You are pretty close to being where I am now. Just a few more exposures and the anxiety should start to fade. You will still get some bad days and on these you have a choice. Avoid doing anything or accept you are going to panic and live with it. A little anxiety is just a reminder of how far you have come.

I might have exaggerated a bit but remember that one quarter of the people around you at any given time are suffering some form of anxiety or stress and it varies from mild annoyance to terror. You will not be the only one today facing the lions. You have the skills to do this though, they may not. Be happy and smile a lot. I have already decided which side of you to be on, I hope you don't bang me on too many counters. Let me know how you make out. I am counting on you to be able to do this but still will be OK with it if you put it off.

Your friend

Davit

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 420

Davit,

Thanks for your response and input. I thought maybe I was losing my mind or more like it, had lost it a long time ago and would never be normal... I think you are right just because I am getting better doesn't mean I am immune to anxiety. Thanks for pointing this out to me. Its good to know I have not totally lost my mind. I am not sure I agree with the idea that everyone at the store felt like I did. The problem was the clerk was waiting on me and then decided to start waiting on someone else right in the middle of me trying to go over the list of parts I needed to get from her. She did this three times.

It was very very difficult for me to concentrate and stay focused with this all going on, not to mention leaving my house in the first place. I think I may have left one of my pressure feet at the store during all the insanity and need to go back today. I am screaming inside just thinking about it. Wish me luck. I'm off to face the lions again today. Davit if you have any ideas on how to make it easier for me I would appreciate hearing them and your help???

Red

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Red.

I think we all feel that way. Some things are that way because they are and people just put up with them. Remember the mistake people make when they start to get better. They think they should be totally immune to anxiety and this is not true. There will always be things like that store that bother everyone but they have no choice but to put up with it as best as they can. Probably almost everyone there felt as you did. Tense and edgy and couldn't get out fast enough. I bet there were a lot of people saying thank God that is done. You did very well considering, you should be proud. I would be.

Just knowing other people there felt like you did may make it easier for you to deal with it. Like silent group therapy. If there is a next time look at their faces and see how many are uncomfortable. I bet it is more than a few. Some times you just have to do it even though you don't want to but your face will show it.

Davit