Hi Red: What wonderful news you have brought home to us. Congratulations. I'm truly happy for you and wish I could have seen the artisans at work too. Did you get any inspiration or ideas? Creating things with your own hands is one of the joys of life I think. Hope you reward yourself now. Way to go!
I'm glad you are back. What can I say. I knew the odds that you might have trouble. This is a big thing. I was ready to congratulate or console. Either way it needed to be done and you did it. I am so proud of you. You know to watch for the fatigue, and you know to watch for the rebound since this went so well. Now what are you going to do for an encore. That is going to be tough to beat. What an improvement.
I am doing Ok. I am tired mostly and that added to some depression because I can't do as much as I'd like to has set off some very minor panic which I have pretty much ignored. Just a bump in the road. The thing is I know there may be more and they just don't matter. The little bit of anxiety I get is probably quite normal. After all I am a cripple and life is tough. The biggest thing with me is the attitude change. Unless it is life threatening it just isn't important any more. I still try my best, I'm not slacking off but what I get is what I get.
Hi everybody and welcome to all the new members. I just got home last night from my exposure. I am glad to be home and I missed you all while I was gone. How have you all be doing the last few days? I haven't gotten caught up with reading all the posts yet.
Well as for me my exposure it went very well. I took my sewing machine with me as a distraction. I relaxed and played with my machine while at the tractor and engine show. I walked around the show with my partner and alone. They had a tent with crafts that artesian had made with their own hands which I enjoyed very much. I talked to some of the artisans and really enjoyed that. I bought a purse from a real nice lady who lives in the mountains; we had a real nice talk and see gave me some pointers on my sewing. As did the ladies quilting. Davit, I watched some men using their tools to make their works of art out of wood like you do of course none of their stuff could compare to the beauty of your pieces. I was able to be around the people in the club without to much anxiety. We all went out to a noisy restaurant which was real hard but I toughed it out and did ok. I did have to yell Hay!! at the waiter because of all the noise which some people didn't like, but oh well. The club had a barbecue pot luck on Saturday night which was a little tough. Went the started to gossip about people and make fun of one of the members I excused myself and went for a smoke to relax and walked around. All in all I had a good time. I don't care for the club much though or the 8 hour ride in the car each way on the crazy California freeways. Lots of panic for me there. I am home now, mowed my yard and am ready for my quilting class tomorrow. I am glad to be back here with the group again.
I'm so glad things have been going well for you... with the drops of anxiety etc. You are helping me out a lot with all of your accomplishments. It makes me realize that I can get where you are too, thanks. Good luck and have fun in your next exposure, can't wait to hear all about it.
Sunny, I'm so sorry to hear of your siblings. I'm also glad you can let it out too... because you made me realize that i'm not alone again. And congrats on doing your shopping! Seems like you took control of it and I'd like to get there.
Red: we will be thinking of you as you take another step towards your exposure work. Good for you. Today I went shopping all by myself for the first time since I've been sick - mostly just to see my strength - I was out a good three hours standing and walking and I did great. I had one little little shaky moment when I felt dizzy but it passed. I asked myself "what would you do if you were at home? and I thought "go and sit down for awhile". so that's exactly what I planned to do, but the dizzies passed and I was fine.
In the past I might have had fearful/negative thoughts and started the panic cycle, instead I thought it through in a positive way. Maybe if you find a tough moment at the show, you can find your own quiet spot for a little break time. Good luck
I think you should do the show. Give them hell. Just smile at any one who gives you a hard time so they know you are bigger than them. Have fun. It sounds like even with the hustle and bustle that it can be fun. Yeah I still have trouble with the fatigue. Trying to work in my greenhouse but it is hot and I'm not used to bending. I tire easy but it is getting done slowly. It is beautiful out and life is good. Just too much to do. Normal is being able to get through each situation without excess anxiety. Normal is not worrying about tomorrow. So you see being a loner can be normal as long as you can still shop, and do all the things needed to sustain life. You don't have to be able to stand in a crowd of screaming teenagers to be normal. Normal is just being content with your life. Normal is being happy most of the time. Red you are normal now. you just could be more normal is all.
Thanks for your concern about my state of being. I did have a bit of a melt down and the anxiety was high and I did get depressed. I recovered much faster this time it only took a few days. I didn't give up on myself, it was very hard, but I have come out on top and I am much better now. I am glad that you mentioned the anxiety and fatigue and that I might feel down when I get tired. I have been feeling this way with all the exposure. You asked if I have been able to accept that I am getting back to normal. I am not sure what normal is. I have always been a loner like you have all been talking about and do like living a quite and simple life. I think this is normal for me and I am learning to accept myself the way I am and that its ok to be me and that I am not a freak. I will be staying around with you all. I think the support we give each other here is very important to all of us and helps us to understand each other and ourselfs better. Without this group I really don't think this would be possible. On another note I have decided that I might go with my partner to show his engines in a tractor and engine show Thurs. so if you don't hear from me don't worry I am ok and will be back on line by next Friday.
I'm glad you could write and let it out. It is these little things we keep inside that keep the pressure on. C....... didn't realize that holding in how she felt about her past was intruding on the present and making her job hard to do. The pills have let her go back to work and she is willing to sort of do the program but on her own by book. I think I have her convinced that till she does it will never be over. We shall see. A work in the process.
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