Hugs
The mind is like a deep freeze, you can only get out of it what you put in. Unlike a deep freeze though when you use something from memory it gets recycle back again. This is the point where you can change it. Not so much change it as to add on or better yet bury it with something else. Survival skills that we no longer need still keep us storing things in our memory that may be needed for future reference. And being survival skills a lot of them are negative. A safety feature meant to prevent us from getting trapped by reminding us of past hazards. Things like this keep us out of accidents in heavy traffic but can also keep us out of heavy traffic if we start playing them before necessary. This is preventable by storing something on top of or attached to that thought. EG. In heavy traffic think about pleasant
distractions so the next time you have to travel in heavy traffic and start to think about it (worry) you will be able to draw on the pleasant experience instead of the unpleasant.
We are born with an empty mind except for a few instincts carried over from our parents as survival instincts. From day one till eleven months we store everything. From then till seven years we learn to add on or bury these memories before we store them depending on what is influencing us. This is when our first core beliefs are built. This is when other people have the most influence on us. Core beliefs if they are strong interfere with changing memory. But managing to change memory changes core beliefs in effect making them null even though they are still there.
Do you know anything about Horses. A horse has a small brain and because it is not a predator it is very dependent on survival skills. To train a horse you do the same thing over and over till it's memory is flooded with it. You can work a horse hard for four hours and it will do it every day. Because that is what recycles in it's memory. But lend it to someone who works it only two hours and you will reprogram its memory so that it is now hard to get four hours out of it. Enough confusion and it becomes almost useless.
The same happens with people. If you have a bad experience in a situation the next time you are in a similar situation you will expect a bad experience unless you prevent it and if you do have a bad experience because you expect to then you will have reinforced your memory to expect nothing else. In the thought (panic) triangle this is the point between the second and third leg where decisions on how to act are made. This is also the point where what will be recycle to memory is decided.
So to make all this simple. Every time you are in a situation where you start to think "I've had a bad experience last time" Change it to "this is a new experience and a chance to make it good". This way if you can find something good in it you will store it for future reference next time a similar situation happens. Do this often enough and the negative thought is buried out of reach. How many times depends on if it is attached to a core belief and how strong it is. It can be one and people describe the experience when they no longer bring up the negative thought from memory as like to having an empty spot where it was. Make no mistake it is still there just not accessible because of all the positive on top of it. Therefore if trauma brings it up it may be necessary to bury it again. But it is easier second time round.
Davit. Feel free to question any part of this that is confusing.
