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Boss is a bully and is gunning for me


13 years ago 0 376 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thank you so much for the update Laura... you have been in my thoughts a great deal.  You do sound more confident.  And the steps you are taking to defend yourself and be defended are terrific.  Good work!  I hope you can somehow push this to the back burner of  your mind until July and be able to just stay in the present with your students and your own children.  Don't forget to be extra gentle and caring with yourself too!  Do keep us updated as you can.  You are an inspiration!
13 years ago 0 4027 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
 

Hi Twinigma,

You sound more confident, and moving on a legal matter with the union is impressive.

13 years ago 0 27 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hugs, I tried what you said, but I'm not sure it's Singapore you're seeing.  I see sg.paniccenter.net at the top of any page on this server I use.  I think it stands for something else.  However, you have a point - this is a common situation and people are watching.  Good.  Part of my wellness program has always been helping others.

So, here's the update on my current situation.

Over the last two weeks, my boss has avoided me completely.  I guess she thinks she's won.  I've been working with the union president, and he begs to differ.  It appears that the contract was broken and so were a law or two... not to mention that this LOOKS really bad to anyone who... well, anyone.  I can't get into specific details here, but she is the last person on earth the district should have listened to when it came to anybody or anything.  My union has prepared a grievance - only the 2nd grievance in the last 3+ years in the whole district.  It will go to due process - something I am not looking forward to at all.  But I will have some pretty big people on my side sitting next to me.  I don't know what is going to happen to us.  I'm still mad as a hornet.  But I'm feeling a bit stronger lately.  I've been using anger and righteous indignation rather than panic.  However, the closer we get to due process, I am sure my feelings will change.

I just wish it was July and I knew what was going to happen.
 
Thanks for all your support,
Laura
13 years ago 0 4027 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
 

Hi Twinigma,

Did you know you're helping a lot more people than you imagined?

If you type your username(Twinigma) into the google search engine, you’ll see how I think you’re helping some panic-stricken people in Japan. The evidence that appears after that manual search, begins as a snippet with “Sg”, meaning someone in Singapore(Japan), in the midst of their tragedy, is seeking solace from your dialogue on this forum. “SG” designates “Singapore”. 

I thought I’d share that with you, and other members since 25% of the work population is bullied. This shows you have influenced a suffering soul, in a life-threatening situation, most probably, where there’s been a disaster of international and historical magnitude – the earthquake of a month ago.

 

13 years ago 0 4027 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Twinigma,
I'm hoping you're okay
13 years ago 0 1665 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hello Twinigma:  Just thinking of you and wondering how it went at school.  Cheering for you,
 
Your friend, Sunny
13 years ago 0 4027 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Twinigma,
Knowing this is not about you, since you stated that these "mistakes" are not yours is important.  It's also important that you know you're dealing with someone who's incompetent.
 
Keep in touch, since a lot of us are wish to know how you're doing.  If you don't believe me, look at the "views"!  There are close to 260 views since you started your thread on April 28!   A lot of us go through this bullying situation, and it's never pretty.
 
I hope you can look at Robert Sutton's book, later on.  Bullies are all over the place.  As an educator, especially in special ed, starting to learn about this topic to help your students is critical. 
 
Maybe some others will have the courage to talk about their bullying experiences and how they coped
 
 
13 years ago 0 27 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
You're all so supportive.  Thank you so much.  I feel so up in the air.  I'm afraid - I'm the only breadwinner in this family.  I can't believe I have to go back to that place tomorrow!  I don't know what to expect.  I'm terrified.  The union hasn't contacted me yet.  I am taking my clonazepam every 4 hours for the first time in a decade.  I just want to feel safe.  My mom says we can move in with her.  We would have to move back across the country, and my husband and my mom don't get along so well, but it might be the best thing right now.  I am so afraid.  I hate that this has happened.  I would love to take responsibility for my mistakes, except these aren't my mistakes.  Except for one, they are made up or out of context.  I don't know what is going to happen.  I don't handle conflict well at all.  I have a lot of pride, apparently, and hate being patronized.  My anxiety sometimes prevents me from being coherent when I am upset.  I don't know what to do.  I don't know how to go to work tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after until the end of June.
13 years ago 0 1665 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Good morning twinigma:  Sorry it happened that way.  You're right sometimes we don't have much of a choice and it is very difficult indeed.  Almost like being sideswiped.  I'm saying prayers for you this wknd. for you to be able to grieve this moment in your life and at the same time receive and feel comfort knowing that you didn't do anything wrong.  I was let go from a job through no fault of my own.  It was simply because a family friend came along who needed a job and they gave it to her.  I was a floral designer.  I took care of two shops, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. I saw her work later on and it was not good, not just saying that to make myself feel good, it was really so.  In a way, I thought, if that is the level this shop is reaching and happy with, then it's not high enough for my standards of design.  Also when it's a family business, they often hire and fire so they never keep anyone on for long - no raises required.  I wrote "moment in your life" because you are young and starting out.  There will be plenty of opportunities yet to come.  This - believe it or not - is just a hiccup in your career.  Your passion for teaching will shine through in a better school.  Just you wait and see.  If this school was in trouble before, in a way, you may come to feel the same as I did in the above situation.
 
thinking of you and saying a prayer,
your friend, Sunny
13 years ago 0 252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
twinigma,
 
I am so sorry you have been treated this way. I don't know how to help you but to say, that you will be in my thoughts and prayers.
 
Sid....
 

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