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Boss is a bully and is gunning for me

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Boss is a bully and is gunning for me

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 376

Thank you for taking the effort to let us know how it went. That takes a lot of strength and courage. Just as it did to go into that meeting. I am so very sorry it turned out the way it did. Surely later there will some avenues to pursue, right now I can only imagine the focus is to survive the weekend and figure out how to go back on Monday. I am hoping you have personal support available to be with you, pamper you, reassure you. Of course, we are still here to listen as well and send some cyber hugs your way. (((((((((((((((((((((twinigma))))))))))))))))))))))))

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

While you wait for the union to respond, get some rest.

Remember that if you were unfairly terminated, a lawyer can help, if you can find one suited.

A good attorney will get you what you deserve.

When the smoke clears, you'll realize that the two administrators are not personally upset with you, since if that school is poorly rated, they are just trying to keep their heads above water. Even if you were the best teacher in the state, you couldn't salvage a bad school's reputation, if it is that bad.

There's a short book by Robert Sutton about civility in the workplace, so you might google this Stanford University professor's name for the title, which will probably be deleted, but I'll try to post it. It describes the toic workplace concisely, so you can understand, as most who have been in bullying situations, that it's not you, but the situation.

Read "The No ******* Workplace" by R. Sutton, and you'll realize that not many people would survive your situation as you wait for the union and get legal help.

Take care for the time being.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Seems you have a pretty poor union if they won't back you. I'm so sorry it went like this. I've never had to deal with this type of person, I don't know what to say other than that I am still here for you.

Davit.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 27

Nothing I could have done would have changed a thing. They brought me in there to tell me that my contract was not going to be renewed. They had an evaluation all prepared for me to sign. It contradicted every evaluation they had given me in the past, all of which I received passing marks. This evaluation read like I am incompetent and a danger to students. Came from nowhere. Came from my principal's antagonism and my supervisor's rancor. I guess I pissed off the wrong people in this district. I don't know how I will ever get a job again with this eval in my file. I demanded union representation twice and was denied. I am waiting for the union to call me back now. I don't know how much strength I have left for this. I moved all the way out of state to take this job. Many people think I do a great job with kids. Everyone who has seen me has said so... except this woman. And she got me. I am afraid my career is over. I left the meeting crying so hard I couldn't breathe.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

I'd sit where I could leave immediately, if she got out of control, or you feel threatened.

She knows her days are numbered, and you don't have to deal with her, since she has the problem. Document anything that happens out of the ordinary.

Search for a reason to minimize your time with her, or just let the director deal with her.

I don't see why you have to deal with someone who is essentially terminated.

I know a teacher who had to hire a lawyer because of a bullying vice-principal, since the union wouldn't help. Without an advocate, you sound vulnerable. Can you meet with the other person, before the meeting, so that person can help you?

Sorry this is all on short notice.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi Twinigma: You are an intelligent, smart person. You are knowledgeable in your field. You can do this. Stand up for what you believe in - and remember, believe in yourself. Only a suggestion, but when I have to face something like that I get prepared to let them say it all, get if off their chest first. If it's a long "rant" then take a couple of notes of things you wish to respond to, things you may wish to explain, discuss or question. Just jot a word or two down to twig your memory. Sometimes when we are anxious we forget what was said. Then it'll be your turn and just be yourself. Believe.

Good luck, let us know how it goes. We are here for you, cheering for you.

Your friend, Sunny

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Part of being assertive is being assertive with yourself. I don't want to sound derogatory, because I'm not. But it is part of the process.

Like Ashley said "You can and will do this." That is being assertive.

And you know we are there with you. Use us. Think of all of us thinking of you and we will be there with you just as real as if we were.

Think of the kids they need you. They are the ones she will be hurting more than you. Be tough and do it for them.

Tomorrow, today becomes yesterday and yesterdays don't count for anything but experience.

It will make you a better, stronger person.

Davit.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 376

Can you email her back? Something like ... "May I ask what you wish to meet with me about? I would like to be prepared with any information you need..." Too corny? She sounds rude on top of everything else. My daughter is a first year teacher and has come over after school in tears many times this year. The politics & incompetence are everywhere... Your passion for the kids and the work you are doing will get you through this. Ashley is right... from your posts we know you as competent and capable. We also know you tend to doubt yourself. So do challenge that. Print out Ashley's post and put it in your pocket... if you start feeling overwhelmed hold onto that paper and channel that strength, that determination not to be bullied. You don't deserve it and the shame is hers... we are sending power vibes your way... let us know how it goes. Oh, and vent more here tonight if you need to. we are listening.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11223

Twinigma,

I am so sorry you have to experience this. It sounds like a very frustrating an stressful situation. I am sure anyone would feel anxious in this situation. That all being said I do want to challenge you; I heard a whole lot of can'ts at the end of your post. I think you can. Clearly you are able to articulate yourself well; clearly you know that this principle has had issues with other people and even is not having her contract reviewed. Do NOT give your power away to this person. You are stronger then that and she doesn't deserve to have that power over you. No matter what happens in this meeting good or bad. Keep your confidence and be yourself. A great session within the program to look at prior to this meeting is the resolving disputes auxiliary session. If necessary use the techniques there and if you are feeling bullied chances are the other individual in the meeting will see this.

Here are a few questions to consider before the meeting tomorrow:

What do you want to gain from this experience?

Who do you want to be during this time (what qualities within yourself do you want to bring out?)?

How will you celebrate when this meeting is over?!

We are all here rooting for you! You CAN and WILL do this!

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 27

I'm a first-year teacher. My principal is a known bully. Her contract has been nonrenewed for next year due to the fact that her school is now in the bottom 2% of the state and her personnel management skills are so bad the staff has no confidence. She has done her best this year to make sure I felt intimidated, frightened, and uncomfortable. She has never had a positive thing to say to me, when she has bothered to pay attention to me at all. I am still learning school culture as well as the job, and have had no support from her. Negative support, if there is such a thing.

This morning, I got an email from her saying she wants to meet with me and the district special education director (I teach special ed) tomorrow. No explanation, just a time and place to be. Of course, I forwarded this to my union rep. But I completely failed at my attempt to motor through my panic about this and get on with my day. Within an hour, I was throwing up, and then I had to go home. Panic hasn't forced me to go home in YEARS.

I can't handle not knowing. I can't handle it. I can't handle having to sit in an office with her tomorrow, with the sped director, and listen to whatever incompetent bile she comes up with and not run. I hate that this was my first-year teaching experience. I don't know how to go through this. I have zero skills in reading people or politics.

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Boss is a bully and is gunning for me