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How can I go back to being "normal"?

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How can I go back to being "normal"?

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 39

Spartan,

Its amazing how much I can relate to your situation. The idea of feeling "normal" again and getting back to the person you used to be: one that wouldn't have been afraid to travel or take adventures. I used to dream all the time about travelling and seeing many things and now I just worry about everything and it feels like it sucks any excitement out of it. It just makes it scary now and its no longer appealing. Thanks to everyone for their replies because for me I feel like I'm in your shoes wondering what to do with my anxiety as well. I could almost say that those exact things would go through my head too if I thought about going to Churchill.

Wishing you the best,

Another Manitobian

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 58

spartan, this would be the ultimate exposure therapy for you. i think you would love it, being surrounded by pure beauty all the time, seeing things that most people in canada will never get the oppurtunity to see. it might be tough at first, but ultimately you have learnt enough skills to do anything that you what. if you are not into photography, now would be a wonderful time to start, photographi is ultimate escapism, i can lose a whole day to my camera.

just picture this....youre sitting in a beautiful landscape, family of polar bears hanging out, got some classic rock (some led zepp maybe;-)) playing in your ears. sounds awesome to me. sounds like a once in a lifetime oppurtunity.

let us know what you do!!

Sunny II

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 43

Hi Spartan,

I have always wanted to go to Churchill - what a lucky opportunity. They say the northern lights up there are so bright you can read the newspaper at night without the lights on (used to have a friend who worked at Knee Lake)... either way, that's not why I'm replying ~ although I do wonder -are you from Wpg too (I am).

OK so here's my 2 cents - i recently went back to work after not having worked for about 3 years.. although I wasn't dreading it, I was fine. Didn't even cross my mind that I would have a panic "relapse" - I thougth I was pretty much cured. And then it slowly started... panic attacks at work, and I knew that they weren't going to kill me and that I was fine, but they just got worse and worse. That's when I came accross this site, and started this program. My meds are now working and the CBT I think is going great..

So I guess, if I were you, and because doctors are short supply up there, I would work through all the senarios (like the others have said) and when you go, keep working at CBT, and if all else fails, meds. I've always been on Celexa, and I know they take 2 weeks to start working, but it's two weeks that I just suffer through.

This trip will be a once in a lifetime experience for you. Don't miss it - you might regret it! And, who knows, you may not even have any panic issues, but if you do, you'll be prepared!

I hope that helps, and I pray it works out for you!

Ocean

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1

Spartan,

I totally get where you are coming from. Every new life experience/change fills me with dread. I can barely see the positive. I do think that some things you might do are:

1) Try only allowing yourself to "worry" at a certain time each day. So each time one of those thoughts pops into your head (the scary ones), tell yourself "I get to worry about this at 5:30" or whatever time works for you. Then, do set aside time each day to let yourself worry - like 30 min if you can. What I found when I tried this was that the worries had mostly disappeared by that time.

2) Talk to a counselor. Find someone you are comfortable with, and just spill out all the badness to them. My husband never really understands this, because he doesn't have the negative filter.

3) Accept yourself. You are who you are. You are also at a certain point in your life, and you may change and go back to "normal" or become some kind of new normal. This is a stage, and it will pass.

4) Make a list of all the worries - everything that could be bad. Then go through and counter each of those things with how you could handle it, how it might be good. This is very hard because you won't believe it. But it does help you feel like you have some sort of a plan.

I had a very panicky time when I got pregnant with my 2nd child. I was terrified of having a 2nd kid. I knew I wanted one someday, but not when it wasn't on my timeline. Every day for the first part of my pregnancy I sobbed, worrying about EVERYTHING. How would I parent this child and my first? How would my first child deal with it? Would my first child even be a baby anymore? Blahblahblah. It all seems very surreal to me now, because it's over. Someday this stress will be over for you too. You'll make it through, and you might even have a good time. I can't imagine my life without my 2nd baby now - I was crazy to worry like I did. But you know how that is...

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi Spartan: That's what CBT is all about. Changing those negative thoughts to positives. It takes practice to do this. Every time we have a negative thought, we stop and try to make something positive out of it. Writing it down helps too. The trip/work sounds really exciting to me! Your friend, Sunny

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 49

Thanks Ashley :)

The saddest part of this all...is that never once did I even consider that I MIGHT have fun, and that I MIGHT meet some new friends, and that I MIGHT enjoy myself. The first and only things I really think about are the negative thoughts. Positive thinking doesn't really happen unless someone, like you, mentions that "oh hey it just might be fun". I just don't think of those things :(

Spartan

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 49

My husband and I have the chance to go to Churchill, Manitoba next year from July to November to work at a Lodge for Polar Bear season. He really, REALLY wants to go and part of me really wants to go...but I'm terrified. Here's why.

What if from now until July I work on my anxiety and panic and I get "cured" right, and I can lead a normal life and have a job and go out and just be the way I used to be (ok, not even 100% cured but close...) I think about that I try to think positive, and then I think...what if, what if I get to Churchill and I just head back down the old road of fear and panic? What if I can't handle the work load, what if I can't handle being away from home and my family? Like, in August when I moved away from home for the first time it was only a 10 minute drive from my Mom's house. Churchill is the most Northern community in Manitoba, only accessible by train and little airplanes. And I'd have to be there for 4 months!!

My husband sees this working holiday as an adventure, whereas I see it as a threat. Right now I don't like the idea of being in a small, Northern town with no way out except a 48 hour train ride, or a $1,200 flight in a teeny tiny airplane. I wonder if I was completely free of anxiety and panic if this would look more like an adventure to me...

I guess my concern is now that I've been stuck with my anxiety and panic for so long, can I really go back to being my old self? Can I ever go back to traveling in peace? Can I ever go back to working, and having a job like a normal person? This stupid trip isn't for another 6 months or so, it's not even confirmed yet and it's stressing me out.

Spartan

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How can I go back to being "normal"?