First off I want to thank you for the complement on my exposure work. Second I want to answer your questions about my experience with the exposure... Yes I did have periods where I though it was really going good and then I would have a bad day when things weren't going so good and I would want to quit the exposure. I did this several times with the classes I was taking. The way I got over this and continued on with the exposure was positive self talk and the fact that I really didn't want fail at this exposure. It meant to much to me. I felt that if I didn't push myself and follow through it would be the end of me. Like I would never get well, Like a life and death situation of sorts. I really wanted a to live and have a better life. I had to prove to myself that I could start these exposures and would finish these classes no matter what. Even if I was getting physically sick with gastric upsets and having trouble sleeping nightmares and such...So I kept focused and pushed my way through it....And of course I rested lots and lots in between. I try to remember if I am having a really bad time of it that it is probably just temporary and that it will most likely be better the next time...Please Teebs remember even though we have setbacks, thats all the are is temporary setbacks....It was just a bad day and the next day should be a whole lot better....I told myself that over and over again....We will never have to go back to square one again as long as we keep trying no matter how long it takes, because we have much more knowledge now than we had when we first started the cbt program and a much better understanding of ourselfs.
Hi Teebs: I think we've all had that two steps forward, one step back happen to us. Remember that this time when you go back a step, it isn't really all the way back to square one because you have all that knowledge in your "library" to help you out. You know what's happening, it's not a mystery any more and when it happens, now is the time to use your positive self-talk and coping skills you've been practicing. Keep the faith and believe in yourself. We are here to support you, so post anytime you need a boost. Our hands are out to hold onto.
You are not the only one to feel this way or say it. If you went back through the forums you would find it and some that felt it but never quite said it. I think you may have more things you tried to do that you think were all for nothing, if so then you have a core belief about it. If not then it is just a temporary belief, a phase that will pass. Nothing is ever for nothing. It all goes in that file called experience. We all have a file like this. Mine is pretty big. I have lots of things I had to do more than once to get it right. Treat this thought like one of Shari's errant dragons, kick its butt back to its den and start again. You got this far, that is a success. You have experience now, next time should be easier. If you do have core beliefs influencing your belief that it is all for nothing recognize them so they can't work on you silently. Some of these contributing beliefs are 'I'm not good enough' 'I can't do this' 'I'll never get it' 'It is taking too long' These sort of beliefs just reinforce the one 'it was all for nothing'.
Don't try to force it, it will fight back. Just work at it slowly and if exposure is too hard then work more on coping skills. I know what it is to slip back, certain medications I take for infection make me slip. I always feel like I'm losing it and have to fight pretty hard to convince myself it is temporary. But I always get back to a panic free state. Always. I'd like to be 100% free, but it just doesn't happen for me. Slipping has been a kind of exposure for me making every slip less than the last.
Weren't the experiences of improvement worth it, aren't they something to focus on?
Hang in there and keep posting every time you feel it isn't worth it and I will keep reminding you that it is. After all I am here for you.
Thanks for your post, Red! That will be very inspirational for many folks. And it's good to note that it takes time, which you were willing to put in.
Someone probably has a better answer for Teebs than I do.... But, Teebs, stay focused on your goal and don't give up based on your inaccurate idea that it was all for nothing. Focus on the success. A baby step back is OK! Difficult changes take time and patience.
It sounds like you've been putting in lots of hard work and are really starting to experience the benefits - way to go!!
I'm curious if there were days of exposure that were tougher after you had periods that were going better, and if so how you handled these and kept going back at? That's my biggest struggle. I'm willing to stick with it until I start experiencing improvements, but then when I have a setback I fear all my work was for nothing and that I'm heading back to square one.
I have something I want to share this morning about exposure work. I have been doing exposure work to crowds for a few months now. I started out going to a local crowed mall and stayed for 30 minutes until my anxiety/panic levels went down and I was calm. I repeated this exposure once a week for several months. I was able to go to the mall this week and spent most of the day there without any panic or anxiety. I did my 45 minute walk. had lunch and went into some shops and did a little shopping. I even talked to some of the clerks. I was very relaxed and actually enjoyed myself. What I am trying to get across and share with the group here is that exposure work really does work and if you keep repeating the exposure you can get rid of the panic and anxiety associated with the things you are having a problem with. This works for lots of situations like taking a class for instance etc. etc. etc. I started taking some classes this year one at a time and it was tough with the anxiety and all. It was the repeat exposure that helped me conquer these fears. One class was for a full semester and the next class was for 8 weeks each class meeting was 3 hours long....What I want to get across to everyone here is that exposure work was and is the key to getting well...Its does take work and time but it is so worth it in the end.....
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