Cleo, Teebs
If you do not do this what will you think next time you try? You can reinforce negative just the same as you can reinforce positive with exposure. Are you strong enough to say, "I am not ready" and really believe it? Or is it going to be an excuse to use in the future? I'm not pushing you to do something you can not do. Cleo I can understand you not wanting to fly alone and you do have a compromise. Teebs correct me if I am mistaken, you will be going with a safe person and you have medication if you need it. In fact you could stay medicated the whole time if, and I say if, you had to. (you know you would not have to be). This is just my personal thought based on my experience but I think the benefits from doing the trip far out weight not doing it. I will still be your friend and I will still be here for you, I just want you to think this over carefully and rationally, not through the eyes of fear. Fear is what you are trying to overcome here. And now a secret here. I have an operation I have to go for and for the first time in my life I'm scared. I am scared because I like it here and want to be here. It would be so easy to just not do it, I won't die if I don't, it is just something that will improve my health. But with all operations there is a chance, slight as it may be. I know because I have signed the release fourteen times before. I have a lot of anxiety but no panic and I am going to try very hard to do this because I need to, I can not live in the shadow of my anxiety, I have come to far. But and here is the big but. I am going to most likely use Valium that day because I truly feel for me I have to do this. I will not feel bad because I used a drug I will feel good that I did something I want to do but am afraid to do. I truly think it will make all the other things that give me anxiety easier to deal with. And those I can now do without medication even though at one time I could not.
I had to post this because I really feel you will benefit from the trip and I feel you may actually enjoy yourself it you allow yourself to. You did say you want to do it.
What ever you decide I am still your friend and maybe Cleo is right, maybe you are not ready.
What ever you decide, keep posting, do not hide from us, I would miss you.
Here for you,
your friend I hope.
Davit.