Hi Everyone,
The whole day wednesday I didn't go down stairs and didn't see them the whole day which was great. But yesterday, I was over it and I was curious how I'd deal with them so I ate dinner downstairs with them. It was interesting to watch... I guess the lady is becoming more confused about me since she is not able to control me anymore. But I went with a big smile and greeted them with ease like nothing was wrong. I even conversated with her and after that, everyone started to relax... I guess they were afraid of me or something, it was a little funny... they were relieved that i wasn't 'hysterical' or something. And throughout dinner I was myself, if I felt anxious, I slowed down and i kept everything at my pace with no pressure. The way I dealt with the situation gave me some confidence.
Red, In a sense I think it was good that she came... I think there was a lot of 'problems' in my family to begin with so her coming has brought it all out on the table. it's more of a realization for me about my family and if I do leave, it would be the reason of my family rather than her. Thanks for you input... I am still debating about it... see how things go after she leaves too.
Ashley, That's funny cause that is pretty much what i did... I gave them my 'kindness'... It was interesting to observe. I think if I do leave, I will be less dependent and I will have a reason to do exposures whether I like it or not. It will give me that push that I can avoid if I do stay here. I think I will learn new things about myself too and it can give me confidence and tests to test my courage.
Davit, that's a good idea... I've been thinking of that too but the money still does worry me. I feel like it will be worth the try and money but my 'if' thoughts roam around. I'd eventually have to find a job and etc... which would be a good push for me, but still am afraid to do.
