Everyone,
Thanks for all the replies and shared stories. I had a better day today. I really did not have any serious depression or anxiety today. I know that just posting here is always a big help, and receiving input from everyone helps even more.
I was really getting into the negative thought pattern yesterday. The voice inside my head kept wondering if I was getting worse or better. Even last Saturday, I was in my kitchen and started to think that I felt bad like I used to. I used to have these depression episodes where I was not just thinking about being depressed, but I actually felt it 24-7 for a period of time. That is not what happens to me now and has not happened for a while.
I really started to get a handle on it when I switched jobs 2 years ago - a job I now no longer work at- but changing jobs help none-the-less. The job I have now requires me to be in a vehicle for much of the day as I go inspect houses. I know when I get into a negative thought pattern that I have to put the STOP sign up. Today my STOp sign was music. I listened to more music that talk radio today. Sometimes a change helps.
So I am happy that I had a positive day and am about to get on the bike. And even though I felt bad yesterday for a while, when I came home, I had my best shoulder workout in a few weeks.
And Red, I really do not know what a normal life is either. I do know that my life is never boring. A while back, when I was looking for my soulmate, I sometimes wondered if I could handle a relationship, as I felt like such a mess all the time. That all ended when I met my wife.
I hope you made the tea party. Try some chamomile. :-)