Anerol: I too was extremely shy, especially since I blushed and I couldn't hide that, and that bothered me because I thought now everyone would know how nervous I really was. So, speaking to people was a challenge for me too. That is a social anxiety. I'm not sure how I overcame it exactly, but I think it was little by little as I felt better and started to do volunteer work. It just went away as I became more confident. I just wanted to write and say I do understand what you are going through and I am hoping with time, your confidence level will soar. Somebody once told me that shyness was quite selfish. I was very surprised to hear that and a little hurt as I sure didn't think I was a selfish person. What they meant was that it is selfish in that, in a way, we think the world revolves around us, that everyone is noticing us, as though we were some very important personage.
Love yourself as you would love your very good friend. Be kind to yourself. I bet you're the nicest person ever. You are an individual unlike any other and have a uniqueness to share with the world. It's like a wonderful musician who plays music but only alone and no one ever gets to hear it. Remember that song, "This little light of mine, I'm going to let it shine".
I may need your push. I might have a little bit of a harder time if I had to speak to anybody versus, writing... but i know i'll eventually get over it because I have done so in the past, but I'm a really really shy person. I was dwelling on this fact a few days ago... how afraid i am about speaking. A lot of the time, my main worries are 'what if i have to talk' when ever I worry about going out.. 'what if i run into someone that i'll have to speak' etc. Sometimes I avoid my neighbors and i feel so mean when i do. But today i went to the library and i felt really connected to the checkout girl even though we only smiled and did the usual transaction convo and it was nice and I was reassured that i can do it. i just need to stop thinking about it. I want to go see a counselor, but the only thing that's stopping me (just like with everything else!) is my fear. boo
Thank you. I got caught feeling sorry for myself. I am disabled but not really crippled but if I keep doing stupid things like trying to cut my leg off I may become one. I'm really feeling quite good right now even though I'm supposed to stay in the house and keep the leg elevated. You know how depressing having the flu can be. you just can't get anything done and feel so useless. Well I never get the flu but some days I feel tired and useless. It is good to know I have you and every one else here to straighten me out. Thank you again.
That's a good idea...I have my B/P machine on my nightstand now... moving it here by the computer and being distracted while taking it sounds like a plan. I have taken other advice from you too...I have told myself that I am fine, and willl be fine, at least until I seee the dr. next month..when I have a "twinge" I remind myself of this and it goes away! I think I truly believe it..so perhaps that's the key..really believing it. I don't like it when you call yourself "a cripple"..I know you are physically limited ....but it sounds like you are putting yourself down, and I don't like anyone putting my friends down!
Samatha,
Everytime I notice a "What if" thought ...or I see that I am "mind reading", I go over the first 2 or 3 questions ..that's been enough to get rid of them...so far..and I am replacing them with positive images. ie: palm trees and blue oceans
I am feeeling much calmer overall now. I've been on the celexa for over 2 weeks.
I am taking this program very slowly... right now its enough for me to go see dr's, go to work, and be generally calm before I start exposure to heights/elevators.(Can't even visualize planes) I know its probably avoidance, but I figure I have been anxious for over 20 years, so in the past month I've come far!
Davit: I'm smiling away here, when I read how your BP monitor used to double pump. Yup, have had that too and yes it does worry you thinking it's higher than you thought, so I know exactly what you mean.
You have no trouble writing to me. Would you have trouble talking to me? I am almost a mirror image of the councillors I know. That is where I learned most of what I know. If you could sit down with me, one on one and have a nice conversation about say, gardening then you could do the same with a councillor. Good ones can talk about anything and do. They are not Psychiatrists looking for something the matter with you. They are people just like me only better educated. They have the answers you have the questions not the other way round. After a few sessions they may need to ask questions to give you answers, just like I do.
Hi Cleo, great accomplishment! It's nice to read you're doing well. It gives me hope for me too.
Ashley, I've never heard of a career councelor before... do they have them in the US? I'm still having trouble calling a counselor to just talk to... I don't know how i'll get myself to do it still. But thatnks for the tips, i'll keep itin mind.
My old BP monitor would double pump when my BP was a bit high and it was noisy. Right away I would panic and it would go way up so I would have to wait five minutes and do it again. The one I have is almost silent and doesn't double pump. Less anxiety. I check while I am on my computer and distracted. It is a good indicator of how stressed I am. If there is a big span between the first check and the second or if there is a big span between systolic and diastolic. Two things happen when I am stressed. The span between Systolic and diastolic gets farther apart. Veins tighten to force more oxygen into the extremities in preparation to run and my pulse speeds up. The other thing is my glucose level goes up a point or two. If either is high I think calm thoughts till it comes down.
Keep working the program and using the 10 questions. It sounds like you are on the right path, taking the necessary steps to make positive changes. Set your goals and work towards them, post often and keep us posted on the progress. We are always here to listen and lean on for support!
How will you begin to work on challenging the negative thoughts about getting back to work? What is your game plan?
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