Hi Davit: You know, I think you are also supporting your community by shopping at the corner store, keeping it going. Too often the big stores take over. So you're kind of doing a good thing too.
Some thing just are not easy to do and have to be accepted. Take groceries, a necessary evil. I prefer to shop at our little private store rather than the large chain so I do. No big deal, I stock pile the stuff I have to get from the chain so I can shop there when I want to instead of have to. I'm actually having fun doing things that used to be chores. I treat them as a way to get a break from the tedium. More treat than task when ever possible. Did I mention that once you manage exposure to a few things the rest get easier. At least it did for me. I used to have a lot of anger because I could not be normal. Understanding anxiety and panic has got rid of a lot of that.
I remember when I really really hated my anxiety, I used to beat myself up, and ask myself why can't I do a simple thing of grocery? But now I realize, was grocery really easy to do even without anxiety? Or anything else... I was able to just tolerate everything but it was not like the funnest thing to do, even without anxiety. But just like a sprained ankle or a cold, I was able to just tolerate it... the thing that is different, I realize that anxiety makes me think these 'minor' things are going to kill me. And that's it! I just need to convince myself that it's not and stop my catastrophic thinking.. and that's what the exposure is teaching me.
Red...so glad to hear its getting easier for you. Hope you enjoy your quilting class today. When I was young I took a couple of lessons..sewed everyone I knew a quilt...
Davit...The hardest simplest thing I ever will do. So true! I'm so glad you are at peace. Enjoy your nice day.
I'm going to have a great day too...working on my elevator exposure again.
I also have noticed it is getting easier. For instance, when I was at the quilt show I went outside to take a break from the crowd several times and then went back in and each time it was easier. On the way home I stopped at a restaurant which was noisy and it didn't really bother me at all. I got a nice booth and was very relaxed and had lovely dinner. I haven't felt any anxiety about going to my quilt class today and am looking forward to it. I hadn't even thought about anxiety this morning until I came on the site this morning. I think coming here and sharing our experiences with each is helping us all cope with our anxiety better. It really gives us a better understanding of this illness and ourselves and in turn helps us to remain positive so that we can continue to move forward. Well I have to go get ready for my quilt class now. Talk to you all later.
Coming to this site probably did bother me at one time and I am sure there are some so buried in negativity that they have trouble here. What I feel is what others are feeling. Sad when they are sad and happy when they are happy. These are feelings and I should be feeling them. Like feeling sad about my friend, but happy because she is no longer in pain. I can finally think about doing things without considering how much anxiety they will cause, I just do them now. Some times they cause some anxiety but it is the usual normal type that keeps us from getting in too much trouble. Overcoming excess anxiety is the hardest simple thing you will ever do, but certainly is do able. This peace I feel now for the most part is amazing and I'm learning to not look for the negative but to just enjoy it.
Today is going to be beautiful and I'm going to enjoy it. I hope your day is good also.
Anerol...Good for you for going to the library...even if you did not stay an hour you are on the right track. I agree with you on the smelly perfumes, they make me ill too. The stores put them right at the front entrance ...so they are hard to avoid. I think its natural to feel a little disapppointed when we think we failed to achieve our expectations... but you handled even that so well by using positive thinking and could let it go. Be happy with yourself!
I stood by the elevator and opened /closed the door tonight...started to get a bit edgy when people came around..will try some more tomorrow.
Davit..sorry to hear about that lady's passing, glad to hear you are handling it well, and that you are handling alot of things better. I think it makes sense that if general anxiety is low then one can deal with things easier. Maybe because we can see the positives more without all the negatives blocking them?
I find it very interesting that you say you never even gave anxiety a thought until you came to this site. I hope coming here does not contribute to anxiety for you.
As usual, you have the best statements! You are so right with your comparison... I've often thought the same thing. How come its so hard to truly believe that the panic will get better and eventually go away? It sounds so simple. I wish it was.
Have you noticed that you can have a bad day because you sprained your ankle or have a sore back and it is acceptable. You know it is there but except for the pain you ignore it. But take a little panic and you can't ignore it. The difference is you know that the ankle will get better, but you don't believe strongly enough that the panic will get better. Once you get past this barrier you will be able to do anything.
I went to my favourite coffee shop for a hot chocolate after getting my dressings changed at the hospital. There was no one there when I went in which was good because I have a plugged ear and can only hear on one side. Sure enough people I know came in and sat at my table. Ok not so bad I can turn and still hear. Then for some reason the place filled up and got noisy. I have my deaf side towards the person I'm trying to converse with and the place is really noisy. A couple of months ago I would have had to leave. You know it never even entered my mind how uncomfortable I was. In fact I never even thought about anxiety till I opened this site. In fact all that was in my head was that if I'm going to work in my garden I better take some Tylenol for my achy joints and have a rest first. So I'm going to do that.
I learned also that a lady I visit there had died after having an operation for a broken hip. For some reason I seem to be handling that better too. I know there was a time when getting bad news would make me sad for days. I seem to handle a lot of things better. This may be a bonus or it just may have been that all this other stuff may have been a side effect of the anxiety. Is any one else noticing this?
Davit, wondering where the anxiety is and knowing better than to look.
Today, I tried staying at the Library for an hour. I was getting anxious about it but decided I'll just see how it goes. I got all the books I wanted to read and I started to get more anxious. I decided I'll look around the structure to find things I didn't know about, like how the lighting is etc. That worked a little but after I started getting 'bored' since I got all my books, I decided I'll just go home since there wasn't much else to do. So I didn't get to stay for an hour. I'll keep trying it out, as I watch how I deal with it and eventually hopefully I'll be ok in a new surrounding that is not my comfortable zone. After the library we went to the pharmacy and I went in but I was already anxious and the smell of the cosmetics started to bug me. I thought I should try breathing deeply but I didn't want to inhale the smell so I chickened out. I got tunnel vision and I went back to the car. I was fine as soon as I reached the car. I filled out my form and I felt a little disappointed... I wrote down that "I can't even stand on my own two feet literally... how can I do anything else." But soon after I told myself, well, today was just not so great day for exposure for me and I will have those days, but I will have days like Saturday too. And felt a little better and let it go. I don't feel anxious anymore at all, at home now.
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