Jo,
I can really relate with your story! The symptoms you describe is very much what a panic attack is for me. The heart fluttering is one of the main symptoms I have. I do agree a visit to the doctor can put your mind at ease. Before I understood my body I landed in the ER 4 times with the miss a beat feel in my chest. Those missed beats even showed up on the tests but they explained that anxiety can do that. Nothing to worry about.
I currently don't suffer from panic attacks but just yesterday while at work felt the symptoms arising. Here goes putting this program to the test. I just finished the 12th week. It was near the end of my day, I was tired, I had a tension headache , I felt very vulnerable so I feared not managing the symptoms. I was asked to do something unexpected at work and something I dread. Now it was interesting and I was very happy that instead of complete panic I thought of all the things I learned hear. That if I did feel panic and allowed it to come and then let it subside I could use this as a learning experience. That is exactly what happened. I'm trying now to remember that I can unlearn some of this. I am really grateful for having this site to come too!!!!!!!!
I've been back to work for about 9 years now. Took 3 years off for anxiety because I did not have resources at that time to teach me how to work through them. It's really worth the effort and energy! I think it's more draining to be fearful than to do a job with confidence. I think I do best when I prepare myself for a new situation by visualizing myself successfully doing whatever it is I must face. Whatever the out come I've learned something.....
I remember how scared I was to go back to work but just faced each day one at a time. I would tell myself, just for the moment I will face this even if I hate it and try to find what is good in the moment. After doing this over and over, day after day, I've had more wonderful days and found that even in a bad day there were moments I laughed, saw something wonderful or helped someone that needed it.
I hope you find the courage to face your new job and enjoy the satisfaction that comes with showing up! And if something goes wrong that is ok too because even people without panic attacks have bad days and you can't expect yourself to be perfect. Tomorrow is always! a new day! I'll be rooting for you!!!!!
Sincerely-Birdie
