Hi Drew,
I sense a great deal of fear in your words. You want to be
alcohol free, understand the damage that you are doing to yourself, recognize
the benefits when you slow down for a time, and as soon as you start to feel a
little better, you go on another “bender.” As foxman pointed out, “I hope you
realize the powerlessness and un-manageability” of your behavior.
Drew, although we can be here to lend support, ultimately
you are the one that needs to affect action. How are you helping yourself to
exact success? Are you learning everything you can about the effects of alcohol
on your Body? Do you try to drink other beverages before taking that first alcoholic drink. Do you recognize that perhaps your body needs nourishment when you experience a craving. Have you tried taking a walk or distracting yourself other ways before reaching for the bottle.
Do you document in your diary exactly the number of drinks you
are consuming? Are you also including how much money you are spending on your
hobby? Are you noting how your behavior affects those that care about you? What
about the hangovers, diarrhea, the stench in your bedroom the morning after a
drunk as your body tries to rid itself of toxins. What do you see when you look
at yourself in the mirror? Are your eyes bloodshot...tinged yellow, is your skin dull and dry, how do you smell? Are you still in yesterday’s clothing? Look around
your home, are there spilled drinks, broken glass, upturned furniture?
Writing everything
down in your diary will help you to decide if this is the life you want.
If it is, press on.
TS
