Hey guys -- I'm home after several hundred miles on the road today, and besides the fact that I desperately need a shower, I am desperately craving a glass of wine.... None in the house, I'm not saying a thing to my H about it (or he might offer to go and get some) and I'm just going to go take a shower. I know that will help. Reading the posts just now also helps. Thanks, and I'll check in later.
Hi Dave....thanks so much for providing that link, what a wonderful resource it is. I agree with their views on alcoholism, and the fact that we have this beast within us. I think this will be very helpful for me. I have bookmarked it and plan to read it over and over again. To say I will never drink again does I still fear, I like that they say I will not drink for the next two hundred years. When I said that to myself, I didn't feel the fear. I have made one brave move today...I put the patch on and I'm on the road to quitting smoking. On my drive home from the cottage I seriously considered tearing the patch off and hitting the first corner store I saw to buy cigarettes. It's a good thing I was by myself in the car because I firmly yelled at myself that I am not going to smoke anymore. It felt good to give myself a firm reminder that I need to stop now and feel healthy again. When I get through this rough patch of quitting, I plan to move on to kicking the drinking habit for 200 years. I'm feeling like there is help out there that I can truly relate to, it's a wonderful feeling and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Good stuff Dave.....you and Turquoise both inspire me to want to quit drinking and live the sober life. I faltered again last night. I was home alone and drank a few glasses of wine. I again woke this morning wanting to give myself a swift kick in the rear end. Today I will not drink. We are going to the cottage today to pick up our daughter and I'm looking forward to having a good day with her at the lake before bringing her home. I plan to be sober and when we get home tonight I will spend quality time with her as a sober mom. I just wish I wasn't feeling sluggish and angry at myself.
I was just thinking....it would be nice if the pharmaceutical companies would develop a patch for alcoholics to quit drinking...like the nicotine patch. It would probably be so helpful for so many people. I know that counselling is very helpful, but for those of us who choose to remain anonymous, it would be great to have a tool like that to help get over the addiction. Willpower is so very important as well, this is something I seem to be lacking lately. I gave up smoking over a year and a half ago, and started again a couple months ago. I need to quit that habit as well. I have a lot of demons to exorcise it seems and I just don't know where to start. I think to myself I can give up both addictions and I know I will feel better after getting over the withdrawal and habit, but it's getting to the quitting point that I can't seem to reach. I believe I am getting closer to finally putting the cigarettes and the bottle down because I so desperately want to give up both habits. I just need to take that leap and stick to my guns.
Well, back from party #1 of the weekend and didn't have anything to drink. In fact I enjoyed the party so much more not drinking. Conversion and social interactions so much more enjoyable NOT drinking and I had a really great time. It didn't even occur to me to have a drink now that I think about it. I was out with my parents today and they wanted to go the liquor store to get some wine. I didn't bother going in and later in the day my mom asked me why I wasn't drinking as she usually likes me to pick out a nice bottle of wine and share it with them. I just told her I'm not drinking anymore and I just don't enjoy it. She was perfectly fine with it and said she planned to keep the drinking to a bare minimum. I also told her it was more important for me to enjoy my time with her and everyone else and drinking would ruin it for me.
I'm feeling pretty relaxed about it. The pressure I used to feel was brought on entirely by me, no one else. Life is so much better without that pressure. And you are exactly right. It feels really good to wake up in the morning without that fog in your head and the self-recriminations of letting myself down. It's no wonder we feel so bad about ourselves when the negative cycle of alcohol abuse run our lives.
One thing I don't under-estimate is the strength I get from yourself and all the others on this forum. The small victories made by everyone here fuels my momentum. That includes the strength I see from those who have their moments where they do have a drink yet still pick themselves up to fight the good fight.
Thank you Turquoise. Having your support and everyone else's on this forum is a source of strength for and it is sincerely appreciated. Believe me, it makes all the difference.
Best regards,
Dave
PS. My typical salutation when I end an email is "Cheers" but it just doesn't seem appropriate here
How do I plan to meet the challenges......head on! It's the only way I can do it and I plan to enjoy the challenge, not fear it. I just spent the last couple of hours catching up with old family friends over breakfast and it was really nice. And yes, beer and partying was on the list of topics that were thrown around. I'm perfectly fine with that. When I got to my hotel last night I was alone and thought "It would probably be fun to a have a few beers with my friends and family..." but my first thought after was "No, actually it wouldn't....." and I read my diary and I knew IMMEDIATELY I want nothing to do with drinking. I am really looking forward to sharing our time together and alcohol will do nothing to better the situation, it will only ruin it for me. I'm not interested in the feeling of regret and self-recrimination that will follow and I need to be fair to myself and treat myself with the self-respect I deserve.
I realized something about myself over the last few day as I've assessed the characteristics of my personality. One thing that really irks me is when someone tries to tell or force me to do something against my will. This was the case when people told me to stop drinking and it's the case with other situations. I'm ok if they ask me for my help or discuss their request in a mature manner but not when they demand I do something. Well you know what? That little voice in my mind tries to force me to do something against my will and it's no different than if it was another person outside of myself doing the same thing. It goes against everything I intuitively know is the right thing to do. It's asking way too much of me and I will not stand for it. So I guess to answer your question my plan is to just say "No" and enjoy the fact I know in my heart I'm being true to myself and showing myself the self-respect I deserve.
Stay strong everyone. I'll be sending the good karma from my success to energize all of you in yours.
The diary is an excellent tool Dave, I used it faithfully for a year and even though I continued to drink, it gave me incentive to not not drink as much and to have days of abstinence. I really didn't record my feelings, I think you're right, I need to do that as well. It feels good to wake up without the fog in my head this morning.
How do you plan to meet the challenges and overcome them at the wedding or any other function during the weekend?I know you plan to tell the people around you that you don't drink, but how will you overcome any urges? I ask this because I want to be able to just say no, drawing on others strengths and coping mechanisms might be helpful to me.
Turquoise how was the trip home? I hope the drive wasn't too long and exhausting. Any plans for the weekend? It's a long weekend here in Canada, I'm going to try to enjoy it without alcohol. I loved being able to put zeros in my diary last night, and even though its Friday, and that is my "real" drinking day, I'm going to do my best to remain abstinent, and find other things to do to keep me busy.
Dave, I could have written that post, just substitute wine for beer. Good for you, and good luck staying sober this weekend! I wonder how many people on this site use the diary regularly?
It’s been a while since you were active on this site. Please extend your session below
You have been logged out due to inactivity.
Please sign back in.
We use cookies to help us learn about how our platform is used and how we can improve your experience. To
learn more please see our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use.
