Welcome Haparydr,
Ashley, Health Educator

Hey Haparydr!!!

       First of all, welcome to the SSC!  This is a great place to come for support when you quit!   The people at Evolution Health have put together a great Program to provide you with the information you need to help you attain your freedom from this nasty addiction.  The Forums are great for support from your new quit buddies who have been there and done that!  Glad you could make it!

       It seems to me that you are in a bit of a pickle!  It seems that you are unsure if you really want your freedom from cigarettes!  The nico-demon is strong in this one, Obi-wan!!!     Here is something else to think about ... You have to want your quit  MORE  than you want to smoke in order to succeed!   Does that make sense?  Quitting is all about N. O. P. E. ... Not One Puff Ever!  Seriously think about making a clean break from those nasty cancer sticks and commit to live by NOPE... heavy emphasis on the "E" part, which is for EVER!  Once you have this concept firmly engrained into your thought process you will be able to move forward to the real quitting part!

      Start reading through the Program and doing the exercises there and check out the Tools drop down box, too!  Quitting is HARD and education on the quitting process will really help you on your road to freedom!  One thing for sure is that you need definitely make that clean break and banish cigarettes from your life completely to be a non-smoker.  Get rid of that pack!  Make a ceremony out of it!  Crush them and flush them and scream and holler at them for addicting you!  I did that and it was a very empowering moment for me!  Something to think about!

      Stick close, read and learn from your new quit buddies here on the Forums!  There's a lot to think about, huh?  I'll tell you one thing, freedom from cigarettes and nicotine is DEFINITELY worth every bit that you put in it!  We are all rooting for you!!!

          You CAN do this!

 

So I have been cigarette free for a little over 2 weeks, and I've been vaping instead. My nicotine levels in my e juice are not that high, but I am finding myself craving for and actual cigarette more and more each day, which resulted in going up one step in nicotine levels in my e juice in order to avoid relapsing. It's very frustrating to me, because I feel that by going up in nicotine levels I am moving backward in progress instead of forward. When I did smoke, I was more of a "closet" smoker. I felt embarrassed of the offensive smell that was clinging to my body, clothes, and breath plus my husband and friends would give me a hard time about it. So when I did smoke, which was only when I was alone at home, or during my lunch, I would go through extensive rituals in order to try and limit the smell. Every time i smoked, i would wrap up my hair, wear a glove, at home i had a set of "smoke clothes" that would be febreezed at the end of each day and then discarded into the dirty laundry, i would bring a toothbrush and paste to work and brush my teeth right after followed by chocolate or candy and then gum. Sad right? You would think, that alienating myself from my friends and family and going through all these steps after only one or two cigarettes would be enough of a hassle to make me rethink things, but it wasn't. It just made me be more efficient at trying to spare my loved ones from being witness to my bad habit or bothered by my offensive stench. All my efforts didn't convince anyone though, my nonsmoking friends could still detect the lingering stench of cigarette on me, which I always ended up blaming on the casino I work in. What a pain! If you haven't already guessed it most of my friends are non-smokers, so when I was around them I either would not smoke at all, because it would result in harassing comments and teasing or I would remove myself from the group and sneak a quick one in and then follow up with my extensive rituals. This had its good properties and bad ones. The good part was, like already said, the times that I did smoke were only when I was alone at home or during my lunch. The bad part was that I turned into a little chain smoker. While a may have only smoked twice or three times in a day, during these "smoking breaks" I would smoke up to 3 right after one another on more stressful days and one on my good ones. But all hell broke loose when my husband left for Afghanistan and I now, possessed the freedom, of smoking all day long without having to worry about him being offended by me and my habit. Fast tracking, while he was gone my habit quickly evolved to 20-30 cigarettes a day. When he came home it became a problem, and he asked me to quit. This brings me to now. I'm not sure if I have a personal urge to quit. I have all the reasons, and it's nice not feeling the need to constantly take a shower in body spray, brush my teeth every two seconds, and carry a set of gloves with me everywhere, but I am willing to do it if it makes him happy. I just don't know if that's enough to get it done. I used to smoke 4-6 cigarettes a day, during my work days ( I worked 4 10 hour shift, with 3 days off) maybe 0-1 on my days off. This last year when my husband was gone, I quickly went up to 15-30 a day every day, on my days off maybe even more. These last two weeks I've had 0 cigarettes and "vaped" 2-3 times every work day and vaped 0-1times on my weekend. I haven't had a cigarette, but here is my problem. My mind is wanting me to believe that going back to smoking 2 or 3 cigarettes at work or 1 when my husband is at work, may be ok? Or maybe just 1 every other day? Who am I kidding?! I know it's not. But my problem is, I really really want to give in, I still have a full pack in my car, and I know that if I even just look at it I'm going to break. Living in Vegas and trying to quit smoking is the worst idea ever! Plus this week is tough as it is. There are 3 birthdays to celebrate, a funeral, and me having to much alone time is not helping either. Someone talk some sense into me?!