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OK, so when I failed at my 6 month quit last time, four years ago. It started when a buddy came by and I had a weak moment induced by a couple beers and the smell of racing fuel. I know kind of weird but... When I bought that 1st pack and was sneaking them (closet smoking for awhile) It seemed I felt the rush of youth again....The hiding....getting away with something.....The absolute head-rush! It was sort of a melancholy feeling mixed in with adrenaline. Alas, after those feelings were gone all I was left with was guilt and my addiction back. So, here is my fear: Is this quit of mine going to last long enough for me to get that rush I felt again? I realise it is something I am going to have watch now. Maybe it is just the demon doing the deed to my head. Anybody else have these kind of age related realizations?
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