Brat, that cracked me up. And of course you're right. There is a part of me holding on and missing something and I think you've come as close as anyone can metaphorically. And it kind of snapped me out of it for the moment. A lightbulb moment. So thanks for making me laugh and helping me understand what the heck is going on.
Moss, I forgot. You're right too. I did go through the same thing right around this time last time and had no memory of it until you wrote. How soon we forget.
Sarah, you're right too! Can't believe how much wisdom are in these pages. Life is demanding, I'm not rewarding myself, I'm not smoking, but it's a draining fight because I'm not helping myself much in the self care department. The fight has been long (or feels long), no rewards, no breaks, and I've been stupidly not posting because I didn't want to sit here and say nothing except 'this is hard, this is hard'..... I was boring even to myself.
I realize that even when we are boring, even when we don't have much to say, whining, whatever-- that it's still important to keep checking in here because it may touch someone's life in ways we don't know about. Yeah But, we are in the same place. We are also about the same amount of time into our quits. Not that I enjoy seeing you suffering too, but it normalized how I'm feeling by seeing your post. We can get through. I'm not sure how to break through it, but I liked Brats thoughts on it. We need to let go of Jericho..... may he and the nicodemon rest in peace.
When I wake up in the morning, I will have 30 days. That makes me smile.... There are big fires up in Santa Cruz as we speak. The smoke has found it's way down and a lot of people are having trouble breathing. Especially the folks with breathing disorders. The sky is brown a lot. I see people smoking despite people being hospitalized, I see them smoking despite the economy, I see them smoking despite a fire raging near them that is compromising the air.........
And I can only feel very grateful that for 30 days, no matter how crummy I felt physically or psychologically, I haven't put that garbage into my body. I'm celebrating tomorrow.
Deborah
My Milage:My Quit Date: 7/21/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 30
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 720
Amount Saved: $288.00
Life Gained:Days: 3
Hrs: 2
Mins: 4
Seconds: 38
