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Handling Smoke

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 823

Hi Try24,

You've received lots of great advice from members. How did things work out? Did you speak to your significant other about your concerns yet?

You said she took smoking cessation classes with you...........so at some point she was contemplating quitting also right? Perhaps your assertion about breathing clean air may help her revisit her desire to quit also.

Let us know how you are doing.

Faryal, Health Educator

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4

YOU SIMPLY HAVE TO TALK TO HER!!!

My parents have quit a couple of months before me.

I've stopped smoking in the kitchen (we used to smoke only there), and I tried to cut down as much as I could in front of them.

In the end I've noticed that eventually I have cut down too. And also I've noticed how much easier it is to quit when you ged used to not smoking at home.

Make a compromise, ask her if she can smoke in just one room, I can't imagine you have house so huge it would be a problem.

Or a couple of rooms you don't use so much. You can always open the windows when you come inside.

It is her house. Fine. But you live there too.

And as for the car... Explain to her how much it bothers you. If it doesen't help open the windows.

An one more thing. If she won't compromise about the house beacuse it is hers you don't have to about the car.

Make a point.

She can complain a bit, but whats the worst that can happen to her? She won't smoke a couple. She can live with that.

We all can.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 355

Wow, you are in a pickle. First, I'm totally impressed with your ability to stay smoke free while living with another smoker! I'm not sure that I would have the strength to make it through the cravings with cigarettes within easy reach! Your SO is an addict. It's an addiction you know all too well about. Think about how you would have felt if the rolls were reversed. Use that knowledge when breaching the subjects.

That said, you deserve consideration. We all do from our SOs. That's what love is about. Don't forget it. You had enough self-respect to stop smoking. Have enough to face the issues that threaten your quit.

Good luck,

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 8/20/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 7
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 84
Amount Saved: $36.96
Life Gained:
Days: 0 Hrs: 16 Mins: 21 Seconds: 33

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 855

Hello i hope you get this worked out, but i think the longer you are quit the worse the smells get, it is truley discusting. I hope your s.o decides to uit soon also, :) hang in there
My Milage:

My Quit Date: 8/8/2002
Smoke-Free Days: 2211
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 53,064
Amount Saved: $9,286.20
Life Gained:
Days: 316 Hrs: 2 Mins: 33 Seconds: 54

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1890

Hello, Try24get. Welcome to the SSC. I'm fully with Penitent on this. You can't live in a shy-shadow of her owning the house and so she can go ahead and pollute the air! Clean out the car as Sparky says and let her know that "nobody" allows smoking indoors anymore. Living together is a partnership of give and take... there's no compromise on air quality. Get real but be assertive rather than aggressive - or designate yourself a clean air room and spend time away from her if she doesn't care enough about your health to smoke outside....

Harumph!!

Patrick

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 1/18/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 222
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 5,550
Amount Saved: $2,497.50
Life Gained:
Days: 41 Hrs: 6 Mins: 47 Seconds: 21

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3307

Not sure if I can help. When I first started this journey several years ago, my husband quit in order to support me. As you can see he succeeded and I am still quitting. The point is, I quit smoking in the house and in the car. He has never judge me when I would go back to smoking, but being aware of how awful if smelled I kept it outside. Sometimes on a long trip I would ask him if was okay to smoked in the car. I alway let him make the deicion and I respected his space. I used Carpet Fresh a quick drying foam for pets in the car. After about 3 or 4 good sprays the smell goes away. I used carpet fresh the powder in the ashtrays. Hope this helps a little.

Keep the Quit

Sparky

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 8/24/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 3
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 30
Amount Saved: $4.50
Life Gained:
Days: 0 Hrs: 11 Mins: 41 Seconds: 0

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1153

try24get,

There's no magic bullet to help you through this one. Some quitters are much more sensitive to second-hand smoke than others and have to really make an effort to avoid it.

Can you kindly ask your S.O if she can not smoke in the car and take it outside? You could also try to establish the house as a no-smoking zone. Even though it is hers you could try to encourage a smoke free environment by saying that the resale value of a house is higher when there is no odour in the house or by telling her that the sheets/clothes/furniture in the house would smell a lot better if there was no smoke in the house. You could do this on a trial bases and see how it works. It doesn't hurt to take small steps towards quitting even if you're not ready yet.

Keep us posted.

Brenna, Bilingual Health Educator

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2

All,

Appreciate the input. The car things tough, since we both used to smoke in it and it's always smelled like an ashtray. Also, it's one of the only places when you're out you can have a smoke (after leaving a restaurant or a shop). However, I plan to replace the car in the next 6 months and then establish new ground rules. The house is hers, and although I contribute to the mortgage, it is still hers. We both went to the smoking cessation classes, but she wasn't really ready to quit. And, if you aren't ready, you won't.

I've just become hyper-sensitive to the smoke. And she is aware of that. Thought there might be some magic way to overcome the hyper-sensitivity.

Thanks,

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 12049

Lots of great assistance!

Take what you need and keep it close. Check in with us and let us keep supporting you. keep your surroundings smoke free and communicate your journey with your partner.

Josie, Health Educator

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 984

Pity her addiction and revel in your freedom. Keep a fan at your side and turn it on the second she lights up next to you to blow the smoke the hell away from you. And although it's a potential ridiculously convenient excuse to return to smoking just by merely having a smoking partner, whatever you do, do NOT use it as an excuse to go back. I know. I've got one too. I've also survived just over 600 days by using the above coping skills! If she can't support you whatsoever, maybe it's time find yourself a new other half?

Me? I'm moving into a new house shortly and it's a no smoking zone. Drastic, but hey, give er a go!

x T

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 1/1/2007
Smoke-Free Days: 603
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 13,869
Amount Saved: �3,316.50
Life Gained:
Days: 51 Hrs: 8 Mins: 53 Seconds: 59

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Handling Smoke