It's 1 pm 13Sep07. I quit 9 pm 12Sep07. So that's 16 hrs, right?
I'm trying to be gentle to myself. Thanks, Rusty, for your post.
Most of those hours I spent sleeping. I lay in bed this am 'til the noise in my head drove me into activity. Bizarre idiotic ideas punctuated by cravings and my addict wanting to pick a fight (I know I'd lose - when I fight my addict, I lose) - instead I used the advice of one of you (Sparky, I think) - that's junkie thinking. I gave myself permission to think any thought, I just wouldn't light up right now. When hit with a powerful craving - prayer.
My addict is devious. It's saying "You're going down." I know there'll be tricks & traps. I'm hoping to keep it really simple and say, "That's all fine ... but we are not going to smoke that first cigarette." I pray that I can keep away from the first one, even if just for the next 15 minutes.
I setting little goals - I'm meeting friends tonite so I want to be smoke-free til then. The next stretch is Fri I have a DR appt! I would absolutely love it to stay clean 'til then. Then another goal, etc.
I'm using the Twelve Steps, people... pls don't boot me off your site. I can't use the Nicotine Anonymous site 'cuz I don't have a mike for the meetings. I prefer bulletin boards like this.
I have to beware of over-confidence. If I start thinking "That was easy, I can quit any old time." Then I'll start again - tricky addict.
I'm realizing it's an oral thing - when I crave, I feel the tension in my mouth area.
Which reminds me, I haven't had lunch.
Thank you for being there.