I've been thinking for about the last hour about how to respond to the events that occured here. Part of me says, "here is a perfect example of what junkie thinking can do to you if you allow it". Part of me keeps going over our long conversations Friday night and last night. All the thoughts, analogies, situations, and experience we shared. The one thing that keeps coming to mind is listed below. It's a post that I wrote at day 139. You know I love you Joyful and I would do anything I could to help. This post keeps coming to mind so I'm copying it here for you. Please read it. It says it all.
[B]The slipping game has no place in a quit. Most of us have attempting quitting in the past and failed at least once or twice. If you are quit, you don�t smoke. If you smoke, you are not quit. It really is that simple. A desire not to smoke must outweigh the desire to smoke.
Quitting is the hardest thing I have done in my life. Like almost everyone else here, I didn�t think I could do it at first. Then I made it through a couple of days, got a little more confidence, and moved forward. Eventually, I came to the realization that I could quit.
I do not consider myself to be fortunate or lucky to have made as far as I have in my quit because I have worked very hard for it. I have screamed, I have cried (A lot), I have been depressed, I have yelled at those that I love, I have said nasty things to people, I have gained weight, I have posted, I have leaned on the support of those on this site, I have read material, I have been to the quit sites, I have read stories of people dying because of smoking. And one day at a time, I have not smoked.
The people here are awesome and I couldn�t have quit without the loving, caring support that everyone here has given me. I have a new mission in life. It is to help as many people as I can break free of a horrible addiction that has controlled me most of my life.
When you light that first cigarette, you are playing the slipping game. If you play the game long enough you just might win. The winning prize is failure and slow death.
This is my opinion. It is not intended to offend ANYONE. Take what you want and leave the rest.
[/b]
You played the slipping game.
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]7/1/2005
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 766
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 15,320
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $2,681.00
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 69 [B]Hrs:[/B] 4 [B]Mins:[/B] 31 [B]Seconds:[/B] 54
