I had a horrible childhood starting at age 15 - that's when I started smoking, 34 yrs ago ..
I had an abusive father, emotionally and mentally he was killing me.. he and my mom both smoked. And he physically abused her :(
He treated me as his live-in slave when I was home - "make me a drink" (he was an alcoholic), "here's the car keys go get me a bottle (rye) and smokes!" When he was up in the morning, EVERYONE had to get up. When he got home from work he'd always be in a bad ..horrible mood and on many occasions throw his dinner against the wall - why? why not! I ended school in gr. 12 so that I could 'escape' ..at 19 yrs of age I got a full time job, worked 6 months, found my own apt., furnished it, bought a car and I LEFT ! And never looked back. I took the bull by the horns back then to SAVE myself from this monster..
I mustered up the courage to do something for myself before my life could be potentially 'killed' by HIM and it was the best decision of my life.. at the time.
Some people who smoke have many demons and smoking was, at that time, an escape .. it was soothing, relaxing, an escape...
Facing your demons, confronting them and finding solutions will set you free. Sometimes it means seeking professional help to do so - but by whatever means do what it takes to heal yourself and then move on because there's a whole life out there and it's meant to be lived!
And now at age 49, 30 yrs later, I am AGAIN taking the bull by the horns and SAVING myself from another monster!
I am now facing head on with another demon..
the nicodemon and I am freeing myself from him on a moment by moment basis and as each moment passes it is a HUGE victory and I celebrate and embrace EACH AND EVERY MOMENT !
Are you taking the bull by the horns ?
There's nothing to fear ! Dig deep inside ..
you are stronger than you think !
xo
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]7/6/2007
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 5
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 100
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $36.25
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 14 [B]Mins:[/B] 12 [B]Seconds:[/B] 40
