Andrew
I understand that feeling of "when will this get better" all to well...This is a very painful time., and my heart goes out to you in a very real sense. You have fought for what seems like an eternity and a part of you just wants to give in and relieve the stress.
That part of you is the junkie, the part that wants to keep going forward is the you that is busy being born. If you can (and this takes focus and concentration) listen intently to the latter voice. Thats the one that knows it is being slowly poisoned...thats the one that has been kept silent for so many years by the addiction. And that is the one that will help you see the light at the end of the tunnel.
That voice started out as a "voice in the wilderness" if you will. Its the one that has always known the truth about nicotine addiction. That voice is the single note upon which you are building a symphony of change in your life and in the life of all who love you.
That voice knows everything about you. It knows why you want to stop the madness of choking down 4000 chemicals each time you light up. It knows perhaps (and I am guessing here) that you smoked to avoid things in your life that may have seemed unpleasant)...It knows that you used cigaretts to mark time when you where bored, be a friend when you where lonley and cry just a little bit when no tears would come.
Use that voice now to do the thing you really want to do and that is GET YOURSELF FREE...Let the voice distract you by breathing deeply, exercising, drinking water...lots and lots of water...That voice is actually louder than you think...In fact it is so loud I can hear it from here...
The truth is, it will get better, a great deal of our addiction is in our minds and that is why it is so hard to deal with at times...Change is hard, but if you really hear that voice that got you started down this road it will get better...
nonic
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]12/25/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 194
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 5,820
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1,358.00
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 35 [B]Hrs:[/B] 10 [B]Mins:[/B] 5 [B]Seconds:[/B] 23
