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Try the positive way, it helps!!

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2417

I agree in alot of what you say too, Todash. Luckily enough, as I mentioned before, we have several different cultures, personalities, religions, languages, etc...in one support group. I also believe that many times it is difficult to truely express a point of view through a computer screen. Hence, advice and comments may be taken the wrong way. Two people can read the same post differently. I am sure that there is not one person here that would enjoy causing harm at a time when someone is reaching out for support. Still luv ya too! :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]1/8/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 390 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 5,850 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1,638.00 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 37 [B]Hrs:[/B] 1 [B]Mins:[/B] 45 [B]Seconds:[/B] 7

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 880

Todash Great stuff here...You are on a roll and all of your points are right on target. I too agree that all of us quit in different ways. And so right you are about the fact that we all can look at the same set of external circumstances and internalize them in different ways. I suppose that is why there is such diversity among humans. I like your point about the commonality that lies beneath the quitting journey as well. That is absolutely true. After a year plus of studying the process in myself I have come to believe that all of us echo certain themes and concerns while going through withdrawal. In fact if we stop and think about them they are articulated over and over again in different ways through the many posts deposited here. Usually they have something to do with the human condition in terms of emotional states such as lonliness, fatigue, anxiety, fear, and reaction to loss or seperation. All of those little darlings have been dealt with by smoking. Cessation brings many of these things to the forefront and forces us to deal with them one on one and then let them go instead of forcing them back down with one more drag...Its the learning to let them go that brings on contentment in me. After all if something dosen't work in one's life there is no sense in hanging on to it... nonic [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]12/25/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 404 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 12,120 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $4,242.00 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 75 [B]Hrs:[/B] 8 [B]Mins:[/B] 47 [B]Seconds:[/B] 49

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$68,701.50

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Days: 1417 Hours: 13

Minutes: 9 Seconds: 27

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6543

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196,290

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16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 984

This is a terrific and immensely interesting debate really - a true example of how different we all are. Point taken Anna, and I do agree with you in some ways, particularly when I see posts that make me think 'are you looking for help or an excuse to start up again?' Enter rolling eyes, furrowed brow and gnashing teeth. I guess where you and I differ is I usually prefer to respond by [i]not[/i] responding and silently hope the poster turns the corner when the time is right. If it really irks me I'll pipe up with some tough love. It's probably why I spend more time these days lurking on the SSC than I do posting. The way my brain works is I really can't see the value of a cheery response to such angst, because I personally wouldn't feel I fully worked through my own angst without letting it explode like a pressure cooker now and again. And I'm right as rain shortly thereafter. I never could just smile things away and suspect I'm not alone. Could be the mark of an artistic temperament, could be a stressful life overall, who knows? Either way, call it what you will, but know this - if I could be so optimistic I'd join you in a heartbeat. I lay no blame at your feet but do honestly admire the ability to stay upbeat. I wish we could all be that way from day one. Overall, this whole experience parallels everything on this earth - we all see things from different perspectives, we all look differently, think differently, act differently, but we all bleed red. We're all in this together and no matter what, we at the SSC are forever bound together by this, our great cosmic challenge. I raise a glass to our joint success and continued compassion for each other. x T [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]1/1/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 397 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 9,131 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �2,183.50 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 33 [B]Hrs:[/B] 19 [B]Mins:[/B] 49 [B]Seconds:[/B] 54

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 880

Todash Well said, I always like hearing from you. Your posts often make me sit up and take notice... nonic [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]12/25/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 404 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 12,120 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $4,242.00 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 75 [B]Hrs:[/B] 8 [B]Mins:[/B] 14 [B]Seconds:[/B] 25

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$68,701.50

Amount Saved
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Days: 1417 Hours: 13

Minutes: 9 Seconds: 27

Life Gained
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6543

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196,290

Cigarettes Not Smoked

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2417

Well, I might as well throw in my two cents! I took the whole meaning of Dutch's post as this....Don't blame every mood that we are in on the fact that we quit smoking. Whether you smoke or not, everyone has blah days, we all have road rage at times, we all don't feel social 24/7. My husband is a grump at times and he has never smoked a day in his life. Now onto what this post has turned into.....I am one of those positive people. Hopefully I have never ruffled anyone's feathers by promoting the importance of being optimistic. I have been at this site long enough to know the people who constantly find the negative aspects of not smoking are repeat offenders. I believe that until they find a few good things about not smoking and focusing on them, they will relapse. Don't find a positive post as an excuse to start smoking again and blame me. As mentioned in earlier posts, we all bring different personalities and beliefs to this table. We do have one common goal, and that is to quit smoking. As Lacy has said, "Take what you want and leave the rest." [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]1/8/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 390 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 5,850 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1,638.00 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 37 [B]Hrs:[/B] 1 [B]Mins:[/B] 23 [B]Seconds:[/B] 14

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2534

Great post Todash. So very well expressed - thanks. I wish more people worked at it like you seem to have and I definitely have. It can be done with a little self-belief and it is so rewarding, not just in quitting smoking but in life generally. I get dissappointed and yes, a little frustrated when people just aren't prepared to give it a go and continually look to others for the answer. Again, not just here but in life generally. Penitent d1355 :) PS Best not look at today's "Quote of the Day" ;p

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$59,037.00

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Days: 1169 Hours: 7

Minutes: 30 Seconds: 31

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5367

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118,074

Cigarettes Not Smoked

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1698

Atta girl I love it . ;p [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]3/20/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 319 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 5,742 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $3,190.00 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 77 [B]Hrs:[/B] 14 [B]Mins:[/B] 38 [B]Seconds:[/B] 27

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 201

Todash What an amazing and wonderful post. I have clipped this and copied it and will refer to it often as I continue on in my quit. Thank you and may you be blessed always with such clear thought and your wonderful ability to express yourself. Thanks always Peace Phillip :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]2/17/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 715 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 17,875 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $6,077.50 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 121 [B]Hrs:[/B] 3 [B]Mins:[/B] 32 [B]Seconds:[/B] 48

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 984

I have to pipe in here and say this whole positive / negative thing has irritated me since day one. I know you mean well, but there's a clear lack of understanding other people's needs which I find a bit unfair and insensitive. Many of us can't turn on optimism like flipping a switch, particularly when we're going through a stressful period. Quitting smoking is about as rough as it gets, so you're really seeing pessimism on steroids here. There's a reason we all started smoking, a reason we all continued to smoke, and for many that very reason is pessimism and depression. Many may involve family issues that don't go away simply because we quit smoking. Multiply that by X years we spent smoking and you're talking about a long-term behaviour needing modification. A handful of people chirping 'cheer up' isn't going to help, believe me. It's more likely to stoke the flames under that pessimism and set that old friend 'Don't you DARE tell me what to do' free to bang away on the eardrums. My reaction to the 'cheer up' mantra was usually the same as when people said I should quit smoking. The act of being told what to do turned me directly the opposite way. So well meant or not, the bulk of people feeling pessimistic will ignore your advice - or be angered by it. If there's one person who is helped by that cheerfullness, good on them, but I'm asking people to try and empathise with and back off those of us who aren't and never will be. Don't get me wrong, I'm not walking around under a dark cloud these days...I'm actually quite upbeat. But it did take a long while to come, and if I feel lousy about something to do with my quit, I'd expect to be able to vent here without someone singing 'Don't worry be happy' at me! There are plenty of both types of people here, let's let everyone have their say in their own way, eh? x T [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]1/1/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 397 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 9,131 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �2,183.50 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 33 [B]Hrs:[/B] 19 [B]Mins:[/B] 28 [B]Seconds:[/B] 25

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2534

Hmmm! Interesting post Danielle. You seem to infer that for others, being negative may be the way to go! I struggle to see what benefits that course may bring. Penitent d1355 :)

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$59,037.00

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 1169 Hours: 7

Minutes: 30 Seconds: 31

Life Gained
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5367

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

118,074

Cigarettes Not Smoked

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Try the positive way, it helps!!