Now I know most of you will know what I am talking about. "The issues" refers to that same argument you have with your significant other, That "thing" that your sister/mother/mother-in-law keeps saying, the co-worker that is always taking stuff out of your desk without asking, the neighbor that doesn't have any concept of healthy boundaries. Whatever your issue is, we all have 'em. And if you are like me you might tend to "make nice" to get along, and generally try to let the little stuff go. Well the issues have arrived as I knew they would, this being the part of quitting that I dreaded the most. After almost 10+ years of therapy, I should have my own degree in counseling. Never the less,the act of smoking represses one's feelings, therefore when you quit you are forced to listen to those repressed feelings as is everyone else. (wicked laughter erupts) Basically I am kicking a#@ and taking names later. And honestly I don't feel bad at all. Maybe he (the boyfriend) should have listened to me the other 5,000 times I tried to convey to him that an authoritarian parenting style does not work well,and especially on a overly sensitive gifted child such as my son. Not to mention the fact we just had a parent teacher conference...and those were the exact words of his teacher. So I put my foot down and told him if he can't learn some new parenting tools then just stay out of it, it's my kid! Well other then the mild discord in one of my close relationships I feel pretty good. although I must confess that I made the decision to cut back chantix to half a pill twice a day last night. And I am sure that has nothing to do with my new found rebellion (sarcasm) I couldn't take the GI issues anymore, and I also noticed I was starting to feel more sick. I figured I would have to deal with life on life's terms, without a crutch at some point. I am actually looking to forward to being more aware of my feelings, not compromising myself as often, and learning more about myself. I just hope everyone else can handle the ride. Maybe I should go give my boyfriend a kiss and a helmet. :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/6/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 17 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 306 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $69.7 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 8

Danielle, Thank you so much for your post. I do so love LAYMAN'S TERMS. I read you post and got it right off. I didn't have to read each line 10 times, trying to understand what you were saying. It was short, sweet, and straight to the point. Very Helpful!! Thanks A Bunch, Tutti [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/18/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 6 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 383 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $16.74 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 17 [B]Mins:[/B] 43 [B]Seconds:[/B] 52

Okay, While I was smoking, almost 30 years, I expressed every single emotion I felt. I'm one of those people where the intensity level of my emotions is way up there. When I'm happy, I'm bouncing all over the place, goofy, and full of laughter and smiles; when I'm sad, I'm really sad and miserable; when I'm mad, I mad as hell and will release small amounts of anger at a time until I say everything I want to say (I won't wait until my temper builds to the point that I blow a gasket); when I'm worried, I'm so worried that I'm pacing and wringing my hands; if my feelings are hurt, I extremely hurt and will cry, when I'm scared, I'm almost terrified, etc. With all of my emotions I clearly express, in words and motions, how I'm feeling. I can't bottle things up. Talking things out has always been my way of dealing with things. I've always been that way. My feelings have never been masked. No one could ever proove that by my behavior. So, by being a non-smoker, just how intense are my emotions suppose to get? I don't want to get mad, turn green, grow huge teeth and muscles, then bust out of my clothes. Tutti [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/18/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 5 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 319 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $13.95 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 14 [B]Mins:[/B] 46 [B]Seconds:[/B] 21

Tutti Do not fret so over this issue, you are you and your emotional responses will be unique. During my quit, I have found that my emotions do boil over...But that is part of what we are doing here...We are learning to deal with ourselves and our world without the smoke. It is a good and necessary journey that each of us has wisely chosen. Yes it will feel different, but for me there is something strangely familiar about it. It is as if I am rediscovering who I was and who I have always been prior to living life in a nicotene dream... Take it slowly and look at each situation, try very hard to understand what you are feeling...If you cannot identify the exact source, chose either Hungry, Angry, Lonley or Tired...HALT Decide which one you are and then move on to NOPE (not one puff ever) and you will be just fine... Stay strong my friend, you really are getting better every day...And I think you are beautiful for traveling this road nonic

Thanks for posting Pea, No doubt about it, cigarettes are an emotional shield that allows us to escape these issues from every episode until suddenly years have passed. I just have to say for the record that he is your child. You are right and there should not be a 5,001 time that it is said. period. With this example and the others you stated, it brings to mind a shade issue that some of us smokers experience. It has to do with aggression being a different shade of assertiveness. I felt really *****y at first. Wrestled with guilt. But told myself that I was not being *****y. I would have stood up for anyone else being treated that way. Reminding myself that I had made the statements as nicely as possible. Running for a cigarette in the heat of the moment to escape an issue only eliminates us from the scene. We are immediately removed from the situation allowing the offending party to have the final say and in the long run we are slowly eliminating ourselves from the scene (like parents who smoke - we are increasing our chances of an earlier death - which would allow others to take control). This quit is about a lot more than just not sticking a tobacco stick into our body. At some point we are forced to stand up for ourselves (or adapt in other coping mechanisms) or suffer the emotional consequences. Of course this all takes a lot of time and takes a lot of work, but it starts at some point with one comment. So stand up! Be strong. Know who you are and what is right and then just say so. It doesn't have to be loud. It doesn't have to be *****y. It doesn't have to start a fight. It is your say and it counts. period. :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 12/29/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 56 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 563 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $280 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 5 [B]Hrs:[/B] 8 [B]Mins:[/B] 21 [B]Seconds:[/B] 29

Give him the kiss mate( and a cuddle) Phil [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 8/8/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 199 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,182 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �1044.75 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 39 [B]Hrs:[/B] 19 [B]Mins:[/B] 53 [B]Seconds:[/B] 33

Tutti, Don't worry, take it one day at a time. There is really no way to know how you'll change in this respect until it happens. Danielle _____________________ The SSC Support Team

Pea, Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experience. Very well put. Doesn't it feel better to assert yourself and stand firm then to hide behind a cloud of smoke? Danielle ______________________ The SSC Support Team

I have a lot of "issues" with a lot of people. I have asked them all to understand what I'm going through and not take anything to heart. Most days I prefer to be alone. I hope this doesn't last too long, or I will lose all my friends. I can't personally relate to your son's situation, as I have no children. But, you and your boyfriend could probably benefit from some serious talk. And I agree, a kiss wouldn't hurt neither. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/1/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 53 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 533 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $450.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 4 [B]Hrs:[/B] 6 [B]Mins:[/B] 54 [B]Seconds:[/B] 36