I am realizing each day how many painful thoughts and difficult things I have used smoking to cover. Its almost as if in some way the habit has dulled my normal sensitiviity to grief and loss. The ironic thing is that none of those events was altered one bit by lighting another butt. That which was changed was my personal perception of the events. And it is this effect that I have to fight on a daily basis. Somehow I doubt that I am alone in the realization.
Perhaps for some it is the physical addiction that is the most difficult hurdle and for others it is the enjoyment of smoking. For me, however, it seems that I am giving up the thing that has kept a mutitude of ghosts at bay for a long long time. Don't get me wrong I will defeat this thing, of that I am certain. However, I never expected to have to go to the desert for 40 days and 40 nights to make it happen.
However, having said all of that I strong in my resolve to become a non-smoker, ghosts or no ghosts, I will not smoke again. Good luck to you all, you can do this, minute by minute and day by day this to shall pass.
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 12/25/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 16
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 402
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $112
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 3 [B]Hrs:[/B] 2 [B]Mins:[/B] 45 [B]Seconds:[/B] 34
