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woe is me - an ex-smoker in need


17 years ago 0 3908 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
SO smoking will solve the worlds problems and yours? RUBBISH!! Do you really think you will feel better to be a nico junkie again RUBBISH!!!!!!!! It is not easy I have been to hell and back and its still not easy but will I go back? NO!! Is it PC to die a horrible slow death? NO! If you smoke will you be able to use your mobile whilst driving? NO Think again pal!!! Phil [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 8/8/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 106 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,124 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �556.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 21 [B]Hrs:[/B] 22 [B]Mins:[/B] 7 [B]Seconds:[/B] 38
17 years ago 0 515 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Kiwi hon, I gotta be honest and hope that this doesn't hurt your feelings. You don't need nicotine but I do think you need counseling. The anger in your post is immense and the behavior you describe doesn't fit someone in their second year of nicotine recovery (in my unqualified opinion). I've used counseling a couple times in my lifetime so far, to get at and resolve underlying issues that I couldn't figure out on my own. It might be something you want to consider. All the best to you, Ericon [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 8/18/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 96 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 3,375 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $696 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 10 [B]Hrs:[/B] 20 [B]Mins:[/B] 13 [B]Seconds:[/B] 29
17 years ago 0 672 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Kia Ora there kiwikeith, things are at last looking up!. Good times ahead aye... Finally the Hail, thunderstorms, Torrential rain, flooding & 130km/hr winds have eased & i can see blue sky. I thought it was supposed to be summer, land of the long white cloud indead, hmmmm. Cranky. what i have learned...you can snack as much as you like, do little exercise & still not gain weight. just make the snacks fruit & ye shall be slim. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/1/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 700 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 17,502 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $4550 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 100 [B]Hrs:[/B] 7 [B]Mins:[/B] 25 [B]Seconds:[/B] 17
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17 years ago 0 672 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi.... my name is kiwi.... & i'm a nicotine addict. i have begun to realised that i will never recover from this addiction.. whoe is me... i gues it's true what they say.... "Once a smoker - always a smoker" sorry to post something so negative. i don't understand why i still feel like this, why does being around a smoker or the smell of a cigarette still get to me ?. I still love the smell of tobacco & the other day standing beside a smoker - i came so close to ripping the friggin cigarette out of there mouth to take a drag, i a m n o t j o k i n g !. i gave my quit 1 year, now coming up on my 2nd year. i have become critical, a control freak, very tidy & very accertive to the point that i can be a bit confrontational. I've also become 'bent up' over how our freedom & rights are being taken away from us. no smacking our children, no talking on cell phones whilst driving... no smoking in pubs, no smoking outside pubs, etc etc etc the p.c. police have gone mad...list goes on... im getting a bit frustrated with it all. I never worried about this stuff when i smoked, i want to forget all this crap & go back to the old me... the old me who just wanted to "chill out" & 'relax' help... i think i'm starting losing it. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/1/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 690 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 17,254 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $4485 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 98 [B]Hrs:[/B] 21 [B]Mins:[/B] 18 [B]Seconds:[/B] 23
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17 years ago 0 672 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thanks for your replies everyone, Rusty i thought i was going loopy untill i read you post... thanks how its is, this is actually whats been going on. [quote]Looking back over the past nearly two years I see an enormous change in myself. I am less patient with weakness. I don't want to be around negativity. Life is just too short...and I think that is what I have learned...how much time I wasted. What that means is that I have gradually narrowed down the people that I deal with. I used to think this was wrong[/quote] Lady, thats exactly how it feals.... [quote]I too have often thought of going back to the easy way of life. Where my emotions were not so exposed, where I really didn't care what others did, and where I sat on the deck in peace and tranquility just smoking my life away.[/quote] It's good to know that i'm not the only one who has gone or going through this. Yes, my life is very busy at the moment - both at work & home. This is a good thing as i enjoy the challanges & have made some amazing life changing decisions since i've quit, real big ones. As an ex-smoker, sorry non-smoker, i have amazing stamina & can't belive the strength i've obtained both mentally & physically but... It is unfortunate that at home there are certain individuals that i have no choice in being around. It's this that appears to be getting to me & yes these people are 'in your face' staunch smokers. i can deal with the work thing no problem as i have been avoiding the 'less gifted' co-workers so i can 'get on with it', it's the home thing i need to come to terms with. I see that there smoking is hindering there judgement in particulat they appear confused, indecisive & easily stressed & this just gets me angry. i know i can't force people to stop smoking but when you see how it effects them in such a way that it's honesty killing them from the inside out, what do you do ? believe me when i say there is no way in getting these people to stop smoking !. I don't want to smoke & honestly speaking, a councillor probably wouldn't go amiss but I know now that this is just another test from above, fighting my inner demons you could say. I need to deal with this but it's a biggie so it's gonna take a lot of comprimise on my part. As some of you may
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17 years ago 0 186 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Love the honesty (and vulnerability) on this site! "With this we are well on our way." [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 11/2/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 20 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 517 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $240 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 6 [B]Mins:[/B] 9 [B]Seconds:[/B] 52
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17 years ago 0 5195 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Kiwi... (don't get me beat up here :8o: ) I know what you mean. (ducking) I too have often thought of going back to the easy way of life. Where my emotions were not so exposed, where I really didn't care what others did, and where I sat on the deck in peace and tranquility just smoking my life away. It is almost like that feeling a child gets once they realize they aren't a child anymore but have become an adult. They begin to long for the ease of childhood again. Just as an adult cannot successfully go back to being a child, I don't think we can successfully go back to being smokers. We have too much knowledge now of how much the addiction controlled us and how it was killing us every single day. So many times I have experienced the "when I smoked I didn't...." It is true. There are a lot of things that I didn't do or feel when I smoked. When I think of going back to those days, I stop and wonder if smoking really would make a difference in my life today. I've even gone as far to making lists of what would happen if I smoked vs what would happen if I kept my quit. For some reason, I just cannot convince myself that smoking would actually make me feel any better so.... I hang on to my quit. I don't know if this helps or not. It is my personal experience. I am in counseling now trying to figure out who I am and what I want to do with my life. I didn't have these issues as a smoker either. But I'm not a smoker anymore so I have to figure it out the best way I can. I do not regret quitting but I can really relate to what you are saying here. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/1/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 509 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 10,190 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1781.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 44 [B]Hrs:[/B] 21 [B]Mins:[/B] 37 [B]Seconds:[/B] 40
17 years ago 0 301 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Gidday my fellow Kiwi !! I can understand how things can get to you. Lets face it there is a fair bit of crap flying around our country right now. I guess I can relate to your control freak thing. I am feeling that at last I have some control over my life and now I am starting to realise I HAVE to be in control. I am presuming this will pass. It sounds like you are having a smoking flashback. Maybe things are just getting a bit tough for you right now. We are ex smokers...we have made that personal choice. Be strong Cuz, Kiwi's can fly despite the best efforts of our government. Take time out, make a checklist of the good stuff. Smile Kia Kaha ! KiwiKeith [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 9/29/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 61 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,527 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $707.6 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 9 [B]Hrs:[/B] 1 [B]Mins:[/B] 51 [B]Seconds:[/B] 13
17 years ago 0 2462 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Kiwi, you and I quit around the same time. I hope you are still peeking in. I'm not an expert. Like anyone else I have to put one foot in front of the other every day. I still live one day at a time, because that's a good philosophy of living in addition to being a valuable tool to quit an addiction. Looking back over the past nearly two years I see an enormous change in myself. I am less patient with weakness. I don't want to be around negativity. Life is just too short...and I think that is what I have learned...how much time I wasted. What that means is that I have gradually narrowed down the people that I deal with. I used to think this was wrong. Now I understand that this is part of a change process that quitting smoking led me to. It has allowed me to focus on the quality of my time. When I smoked, I was complacent. Just happy to be sitting around smoking my cigarettes with whoever. They were my "friends" because they smoked, too. How twisted is that? I never looked at why I would take four or five breaks a day at work to "shoot up". And that doesn't count the drives to and from work or my lunch! Now I guess there's a little anger that comes out every now and then when I see other people doing the same thing that I used to do. And I wonder sometimes...am I angry because I miss it or am I angry because I see that they are wasting so much time and health and energy or am I angry because I did? In any case, sorry for getting so personal. You have a lot of energy that can be used for so much. How about channeling it somehow? Take up a cause, work with a charity, join a political club. Use that passion to help someone in your community. Think about things you always dreamed of doing and do them. Perhaps you can work with a counselor to help you focus on what it is you want to accomplish. For me, I decided to take a course at a local university and I tutor an immigrant. These help me take what was some kind of nervous anxiety and channel it productively. Perhaps there is something similar that will work for you. I do not understand why quitting smoking leads to such enormous personal changes. I'm not a different person than I was, but I know that the person I am is closer to the person that I always wanted to be. Best, Rusty :) [B]My Mila
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17 years ago 0 763 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
way back there was a post about "when" it's over.....I can't seem to get the search feature to even work! But what that post said is that it's over when you MAKE it be over. When you stop thinking about it, romanticizing it, wishing you could do it again, telling yourself it was "better" then, feeding the anger of not being able to keep the cake and eat it also. Many of us hid behind and in the nicotine addiction.....it's hard to come out of that. It sounds to me like you have some issues that smoking was glossing over.....why not seek help to solve these issues once and for all. I don't mean to sound critical or accusing....I realize that you may very well not be able to "help" how you feel....that is why it's a good choice to "get" some additional help?? good luck.....and just don't smoke.....you will find that will "worsen" your anger because you will feel that you have failed. You can't go back to hiding now....you know the truth. You must work your way through this. hugs Katy [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/4/2002 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 1783 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 71,343 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $10163.1 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 232 [B]Hrs:[/B] 15 [B]Mins:[/B] 29 [B]Seconds:[/B] 0
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