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11 years and counting

Timbo637

2024-10-31 6:49 AM

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Feels like hell week all over!!

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2024-10-30 9:38 AM

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Roller Coaster Withdrawal

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2024-10-14 12:28 PM

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Smile....and don't shoot the messenger

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2024-09-27 3:17 PM

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Paranoia Setback


21 years ago 0 29 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I definitely know what it is like to watch others and think "will I ever be normal and carefree again?" It's frustrating to wake up every day and wonder if today is the day it all goes away and then start to have the horrible thoughts and feelings again. I have hope though. I still believe this will eventually go away (with hard work of course). I'm already doing better in many ways, but have a long way to go!
21 years ago 0 239 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
SherriAnn I don’t know if the paranoia is part of OCD, never thought of it like that either. Suppose it makes sense that the paranoia would be a spin off as a result of OCD. I still wash my hands more often than most too Sarah. It’s a good habit to get into though, so long as it doesn’t rule your life! I always put hand cream on my hands after washing. I use sorbolene, it’s good and it’s cheap. I also get that paranoia about medication too. I’m not taking anything for my panic so far. But I still attach those fears to headache pills, anything you name it. I can totally relate to the deli food paranoia you had Sherri Ann! It’s horrible not feeling able to trust anything. Don’t you just envy everyone being normal, bah I do this all the time. I’ll be in the street or with friends, or just watching tv and watch people and I think: “whoa, I want to be like that, care free and easy going!”
21 years ago 0 29 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I'm glad to hear others have the same thoughts I do. I thought I was such a freak for thinking that someone at a food factory would poison the food and it would just happen to be the can that I bought. Othertimes, I think that I'm suddenly going to be allergic to something I just ate eventhough I've eaten it before. I even bought some food at the deli and then when I got home wondered if someone walked by the deli line up and sprinkled something on it and started to panic after I took a few bites and had to throw it away. I do this with medication too, I think maybe the manufacturer screwed up making the medication and I'm going to get the wrong stuff! I never recognized this as OCD before. I just thought I was such a child about everything. I don't trust anyone and that doesn't help.
21 years ago 0 128 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I'm really glad I could help. this message board has been such a huge help for me because I had no idea that all the other weird symptoms I had (depersonalization, paranoia, strange skin sensations,etc.) were all part of panic and anxiety. Until I came on here, I honestly thought I was the only one with some of these crazy thoughts! But now I see it as definetely just part of this horrible illness. I used to wash my hands too, so much that they'd be cracking and bleeding. To get a referral to a psychiatrist, I had to go to a dr. who told me to stop washing my hands and instead referred me to a dermatologist! That was when I was about 17. Thank god I don't do that anymore-though I'm sure i still wash my hands more than most people. At least I never get sick! Sarah
21 years ago 0 239 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thanks Sarah, you’ve been a big help! OCD sucks, I’ve had it for a while also. Mine is checking doors, power switches, and washing my hands over and over. aergh I can relate completely to the food paranoia, even the fruit being poisoned!! It’s horrible. I have those very same thoughts of a worker being ****ped off at a boss and doing the dirty. You’re so right about panic disorder moving through stages. Keep telling myself the more time that passes the better. Thanks again.
21 years ago 0 128 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Sky, I completely know what you're going through! I am totally paranoid about all kinds of stuff. Usually it's about food-I think everything I eat may be poisoned. I obsess about it so much. I check 100 times to make sure food packages are sealed completely and even then I still can't eat it sometimes. I think what if someone who works in the factory where they make this (can of soup, for example) got really ****ed off at his boss and decided to put arsenic in the soup. Seriously that's the kind of thing that goes on in my head. I know it sounds nuts! Fruit is especially bad because I think it would be so easy for someone to poison my fruit because it is unpackaged and someone could easily use a syringe and pump it full of poison. For awhile these thoughts dominated my life and I barely ate anything. It was awful. In the past when I had OCD really bad I would wash my clothes at least 3 times in the machine before I could wear them. then if they happened to touch the ground, I would have to wash them again. I was so worried that they would become contaminated with a chemical that I would then inhale. Paranoia is terrible. I don't have much advice on this subject, just know that you're not alone. Also, what I've found is that this illness moves through stages and no one stage seems to last too long. I always get on to something else after a few months!! Take care Sarah
21 years ago 0 239 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Ok, so just these past few days I’ve been feeling confident. Theres this horrible paranoia creeping in now making things difficult. It gets so strong I start feeling detached from everything. I’m paranoid about all sorts of things. Any excuse to feel like I’m dying. That’s what it feels like panic, anxiety and paranoia is doing to me. It’s one thing after another. So far today it’s been lead poisoning (I was using a lead pencil at the time!), food poisoning, and just now I used some fly spray on a bug while I was eating. I washed my hands like 5 times after using the fly spray. The food was in another room. When I returned to the other room to eat there was some liquid on the door. It’s actually water from my wet hands. But when I sat down to eat again I kept on thinking “Oh no what if it really is fly spray and now I’ve probably eaten some!” So then I didn’t finish the food and panicked a bit over the fact I might have eaten fly spray. Even though logically I know it’s water because I didn’t even get any fly spray on my hands and nothing smells like fly spray! arghg, I go through this kind of thing all the time. Everyday it’s something new to panic over. **** that bug! I feel ok now but I’m still wondering what’s gonna happen if I have digested some fly spray. Even though logically I know I’m fine!! ergh this sucks. Does anyone else get majorly paranoid about anything and everything? I’d like to read your stories.

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