I dont know if this is the right place to post this, but here I go anyways...When I was first prescribed a Benzo, when I was 19, I tried to describe the way it made me feel. Not "high" or anything, but it was that feeling like after you have a really good cry and let it all out. And after that you are calm, relaxed and feel well. So when I was recently prescribed Xanax, I had the same reaction. So, I did a little search on the internet to find out what chemically happens to us when we cry. Turns out, that tears of Laughter, Sorrow, or bug in the eye are All chemically different..So I concentrated on tears of negative emotions. As it goes, these tears are composed of something called manganese, and the human hormone prolactin...Essentially when we cry, according to what I have studied, we release the excess of these things out of our bodies, as well as increase the amount of endorphins we have kickin' around in there. Well, as an abused child, ( I believe most of us panicy people were in some form or another), I learned to become very skillfull about blocking my emotions, and consequently I cry about once every few years. Also, the prolactin thing, I notice that my panic increases 100 fold right before my period, and especially if my period is running late. This to me suggest a correlation between panic and hormones. I asked my doctor about this, she said "take the Zoloft, Xanax when you need it, and dont worry about it." I am too scared and uninsured, so I dont take the zoloft, but thats another story.. My other theory is about panic being a disassociative disorder, that maybe, since I blocked out emotions during trauma, that I am experiencing these emotions now that I am an adult, and I am safe. Maybe, at some subconscious level, I am reminded of the trauma by a scent in the air, or the way the wind hits me or something that I am totally unaware of, and that triggers a so called "unexpected" attack...I asked my doc about this and she said, "If it is environmental, then it cannot be hereditary and there are many theories that this IS inheireted." I said "abuse is environmental, and also hereditary.." Maybe its a combination of things, and we are each all different, but yet we are all here for the same reason, and It would be interesting to