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Embarrassed

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 22

Well - I caved....... I can't believe I gave in during a state of panic. I had an extremely stressful event over the weekend and by Sun. night I could take no more and went out and got a pack. Smoked the entire &$*( thing thru Mon. Yep! I couldn't just have one or two - had to use up the entire pack. Embarrassed and angry with myself I didn't even bother to post anything until now. It's funny, I knew I should have come here for some support and the longer I waited - the harder it was for me to sign on. Well, I'm back on track now. I wish whatever mechanism I have in my personality that can't let me figure out another way to deal with stress would just ---- take a hike or something. I know everyone has stress, what do you all do? I just don't get it. I was fine yesterday and I'll be fine today. I can usually even deal with the withdrawal aches and pains for the most part. But wham - when I get blind-sided with some event smoking is the first thing I think of. I quit for 8 months last summer. Then slowly started back up in Jan. You know, I thought I could handle one a week or so. Then before I knew it I was up to one a day. Then by May I was smoking full time again. It was the beginning of this month that I found this site and thought I had found the pot at the end of the rainbow. I was so sure I could do this now. Then Sunday came and I caved. OK I said this morning. No more self-pity. Just get on with the job at hand - And that's what I am trying to do. I have this posted all over my house to remind me that if I reach out and ask for help - it will be there. "For I the Lord thy God will hold the right hand, saying unto thee, Fear Not; I will Help Thee" Isaiah 43:13 Thanks for listening (or reading!) cj [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/13/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 7 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 155 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $31.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 23 [B]Mins:[/B] 15 [B]Seconds:[/B] 49

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 22

Thank you all for responding. I've done well today. The cravings are there - mostly mental at this point - but I handled the day. Many thanks to all of you for your support. Healer: I like your idea of posting and waiting for 5 people to respond. There have been a few times that I have logged on to the IM when I felt I needed immediate contact with someone - but it seems that it isn't used very much. In my heart I know we can all achieve success here. N.O.P.E.!!! ;p [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/13/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 7 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 162 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $31.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 17 [B]Seconds:[/B] 19

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 744

Hi CJ, I know what you mean in relation to anything associated with stress being the main reason for lighting up. That was how I dealed with it also. I'll be glad when this adjustment becomes second nature. It's good that you're back on track now. Hang on and hang tough! We can and WILL conquer this! (high five) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/17/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 3 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 28 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $11.25 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 8 [B]Mins:[/B] 52 [B]Seconds:[/B] 40

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2838

I have been in the same pickle. After 40+ days I slipped and smoked 5 and then got back on track, for a week now. I have been doing real well, but stressful situations are the hardest. That's when I resort to the junkie thinking and have to fight with myself to make it through. I've been doing a lot of sleeping lately. I feel so drained... Glad you came back to us and re-joined the quit. You can do it; be strong!

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1070

get back in the game! Your stronger than this addiction, believe that! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 5/15/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 66 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,332 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $297 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 4 [B]Hrs:[/B] 17 [B]Mins:[/B] 44 [B]Seconds:[/B] 51

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2436

CJ, You actually have all the information you need to stay Quit. You know that you can't smoke one, right? Soooooooooo... not it becomes a choice. I wanted to smoke everytime I felt stress, but I chose to not smoke. I sure wanted to, BUT... well you know the rest. When the time comes that you want to Quit more than you want to smoke, you will. This is my first Quit, but for you - there is so much information for you to support your forever Quit. Go back and look at what you did to stay quit for so long... What could you have done to make that Quit stronger? Use all of those details to make this Quit stronger... If you do what you've always done, the results will remain the same... We are here... Make sure to come here and post BEFORE smoking and wait for 5 PEOPLE TO RESPOND... If you are in need of extra support, download the SSC instant messenger and IM Cobenfan or me... Stay very close to this site and go back and read old posts. Blessings - Healer [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/5/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 137 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,815 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $637.05 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 17 [B]Hrs:[/B] 20 [B]Mins:[/B] 15 [B]Seconds:[/B] 30

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2436

Hi CJ, I am trying to be logged into the SSC messenger as much as possible afternoons and evenings, as we are offering some extra support now... If I am not on, I usually come back so make sure to check again later:) We are available for some extra support, so make sure to connect w/me on the messenger.... (am actually signed in now!) Best and Blessings- Healer [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/5/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 137 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,821 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $637.05 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 17 [B]Hrs:[/B] 20 [B]Mins:[/B] 43 [B]Seconds:[/B] 32

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 635

Hi Cj Welcome back Beto [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 6/29/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 21 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 215 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $21 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 3 [B]Hrs:[/B] 8 [B]Mins:[/B] 43 [B]Seconds:[/B] 59

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