Breaking Free -
Well as you can see, you are not alone... Do some searches here on the site and you will find MANY posts that resemble your words, feelings, emotions, all of it.
It's awful, it's frustrating, the anger is intense, the feeling of stuck can be paralyzing...
There were days I just crawled into bed and pulled the covers over my head. I cried into my Rhodesian Ridgeback's hair as I hung on to her and just let it all out.
Coping skills. Build your toolbox of coping skills, one at a time. Let the feelings out, yell, scream, throw a dish, punch a pillow, journal it all... One thing that helps me when I get lost in all of this mess is to find something I can really, really distract myself in... Paint a wall, clean the grout in the bathtub!! ANYTHING. Get lost in something, and stay there until it's time to come back to your life.
And most of all, be gentle w/yourself, Breaking Free. This is one hell of a journey, you need compassion from yourself. What a wonderful opportunity to love yourself and be kind to yourself and to learn to care for yourself in the roughest times...
Hold tight, and vent - we are all here for you.
You can do this AND YOU ARE NOT ALONE...
Blessings and Love-
Healer
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/5/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 93
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 3,256
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $432.45
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 12 [B]Hrs:[/B] 1 [B]Mins:[/B] 38 [B]Seconds:[/B] 18