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Not getting support from my husband :(


3galeh!
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3galeh!
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19 years ago 0 1110 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Theres not alot I can say since you have had some very good responses here. I can only say yes what they say is true and we will be your support if you want us. I didnt and still dont get much support at home but I get it all here with my friends. I can feel your pain but it will get better and it will be worth it!!! Big Hug!! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 4/21/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 272 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 5,453 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $2040 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 35 [B]Hrs:[/B] 15 [B]Mins:[/B] 38 [B]Seconds:[/B] 44
Luna
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Luna
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19 years ago 0 989 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Oh Denisey - your post could have been my post last April. In fact it is almost word for word for what I said back then. Read [url=http://www.stopsmokingcenter.net/support/viewmessages.aspx?forum=16&topic=25253]Luna's story[/url] for the parallels. The main deterrent to my ever quitting was because of increased conflict with my husband, and the immediate return to normalcy if I resumed smoking. He said he would be supportive, but then when I became unlovable in my withdrawal process, he once yelled at me to go outside and have a cigarette. (Sound familiar?) I finally realized that I had to ignore our relationship for a month. Have faith that it would still be there afterwards. That this quit had to be MINE and MINE ALONE....and more important than ANYTHING else. In the midst of the craziness, the feeling of losing your mind, the wondering whethere anything will ever be okay again, THIS is the only attitude that will allow you to succeed. Come here for your support. Whine. Cry. Throw dishes (old ones). Pound pillows. Read and post. Sleep. Eat. Chew on straws. Reward yourself. ANYTHING but taking that puff. Withdrawal is truly horrid, but it does not last and it is sooo worth it. Stay with us. This is a wonderful decision you are making! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 4/15/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 278 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 6,963 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $973 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 38 [B]Hrs:[/B] 18 [B]Mins:[/B] 0 [B]Seconds:[/B] 14

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    45852

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Luna
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Luna
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19 years ago 0 989 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Denisey - you are a smart woman. Hang in there! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 4/15/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 282 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 7,050 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $987 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 39 [B]Hrs:[/B] 5 [B]Mins:[/B] 41 [B]Seconds:[/B] 9

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    $802,410.00

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    Days: 6348 Hours: 0

    Minutes: 12 Seconds: 16

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    45852

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    1,146,300

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Rusty
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Rusty
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19 years ago 0 2462 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Denisey, if your husband is a smoker, there's no way he can support you because your quit is a betrayal. If he is a never-smoker, there's no way he can support you because he has no clue. If he's a former smoker, he can't support you because he has a short memory. My husband is a smoker. I beat my head against the wall for weeks and weeks trying to get something, anything out of him except a grunt. I really wanted him to just recognize what I was doing and maybe say "Good job." Never happened. I even said to him flat out, "Please just tell me I'm doing a good job or that you're proud of me." Couldn't do it. The solution is to forget him for support. Own your quit. Get your support here and wherever else you can get it. Don't mix your quit up with his emotional issues. But DO say to him "I recognize that this is difficult for you. It is difficult for me, too. I'm doing the best that I can and I hope you understand the reasons why I am doing this." As far as your own symptoms, be sure to drink lots of water and juice and keep your blood sugar up. If the mood swings last, I suggest some talking therapy. Good luck -- if you look at my stats, you can see that this can be done with or without support at home. Rusty :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 12/13/2004 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 401 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 11,240 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1403.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 55 [B]Hrs:[/B] 5 [B]Mins:[/B] 17 [B]Seconds:[/B] 57

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    $59,363.20

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    Days: 714 Hours: 8

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    5708

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    228,320

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Rusty
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Rusty
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19 years ago 0 2462 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Joe,I really get weary of your strong statements such as [quote] It always kills me when I see someone post that their spouse doesn't give a crap about them,...What does it tell you about where you sit in their priority list?... [/quote] My husband loves me very much. He is addicted to cigarettes just like you, me and everyone else here. His issues are the same as mine were before I quit smoking and probably you as well. Please stop the implications that the opposite is true. Rusty Rusty

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    Days: 714 Hours: 8

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    5708

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    228,320

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Penitent
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Penitent
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19 years ago 0 2534 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Denisey, There is a whole new, non-smoking life out there, go get it! Good Luck Penitent d612

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    Days: 1277 Hours: 19

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Katy
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Katy
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19 years ago 0 763 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I have to say that I agree with Joe....it's just that he needs more diplomacy in putting in words what you surely have to all see is true.... .....a nicotine addict may be quite caring and 'show' it....or they may be a complete butt about the threat they feel from a quitter. how they react to the quitter actually may have nothing to do with their feelings.....the ADDICTION is the one in control! Some of us feel a lot stronger about the delimia that faces a quitter who feels no support from a smoking spouse. all of you....make consessions for each other.....we are ALL heading the SAME way......don't let yourself fight! it plays to the addiction of the new quitters. We all have to be able to state our opinion Kick some butt!!! Katy [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/4/2002 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 1476 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 59,058 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $8118 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 192 [B]Hrs:[/B] 14 [B]Mins:[/B] 0 [B]Seconds:[/B] 54

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Katy
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Katy
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19 years ago 0 763 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Denisey......it WILL get better....the quit will at least.....and with this power you gain by overcoming in this area is going to come a strength from within yourself that you are just discovering. You are going to 'look' at things now, instead of just turning your back and lighting up. It's good, but give yourself time to adapt to it. for a while after I quit, I was like a mad woman...I would go on tirades and when I would run down, I would wonder WHAT was that all about LOL It took me a while to figure out how to handle all my new "forthrightness" :} My observation would be that your hubby is a terrified, nicotine addict.....and now he is faced with YOU conquering the very addiction that has hold of him. Even if he is butt....give him some room (and in doing this, take some for yourSELF) Be true to taking care of your quit right now. Don't make any hasty or rash decisions. and remember that even if that hubby IS an ass????? He is "watching" you fight this demon. show him a quitter with class!! Katy [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/4/2002 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 1479 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 59,173 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $8134.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 192 [B]Hrs:[/B] 23 [B]Mins:[/B] 4 [B]Seconds:[/B] 6

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    Days: 5980 Hours: 18

    Minutes: 47 Seconds: 11

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    917,040

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