Hello all. I have a question or thought, or both. I have spent the past couple of days reading hundreds of posts. It seems there is so many wonderful people here, I think this will be my second home.
Anyways, back to my question thought. My quit was 5 days ago. I saw a hypnotist. I was expecting a "miracle". I kept thinking, well if it doesn't work, I will just smoke again. I really only did this because my hubby wanted to. We have never lasted longer than 6 hours on our last quits. I actually thought he would say, "Oh, screw this. Lets have a smoke."
I'm still waiting for that today.
As much as I am loving this non-smoking thing, I sure know that if he said that to me, I would probably follow him. Maybe not jump up and say YES, but within a few minutes, I think I would.
My first two days were painful. My body was taken over by "something". I was completly out of it. The urges were over bearing. But I did not smoke. I did not truthfully WANT to smoke.
The next few days have been okay. The urges have lessened, and when they do come, they go away so quickly. It feels like by blood heats up and boils throughout my body, all within 2-3 seconds. Then, poof -- it is gone.
I am doing some of my normal past activities, just without a smoke. Some of my cravings have been bad, but for the most part I have been so lucky. I have panic attacks, but they are so quick (that is when my blood boils!)
So onto my question. I have read that if you truely want to quit, you will. My thought of quitting this time was that it wouldn't last. I don't think my heart was into it. Now, however, I don't want to smoke. When I get a craving, I don't want a smoke. When I smell smoke, it smells good, but I still dont want a smoke. When I walk by stinky people, I gag. Even though I have cleaned my car, sprayed a bottle of Fabreeze, I can still smell a slite rotten ash smell inside.
I have no desire to pick up a cig. Someitmes I just want nico, not a cig.
Am I crazy???? How can this be a life-long journey for me? Is my heart really in it? If it is not, I cannot possibly survive, right? Have I been "lucky" in my quit? My mind is always thinking about cigs. But mostly thinking, how good I feel. Inside and out.
I think I might have completely lost my mind............
