Rowsie... I am so sorry you have to struggle with this decision. Whatever you decide... you need to agree with yourself that it is the right thing to do. It sounds like you really want to stay home with your kids and you are financially able to do so. Why would it be wrong to stay home?
I stayed home with my children... and was out of sync with my peers even then (1980's) .... everybody worked and if you stayed home you were too incompetent to hold a "real" job. Things haven't changed much.... sad to say. I take care of my daughter's children because she needs to work... both financially and for the mental/emotional stimulation. That's what she needs to do and she knows it is fortunate that I choose to care for the children in her stead.
If I had it to do over.... I would choose staying home. Before children I worked as a paralegal assistant and later when my children were older, I worked as a library paraprofessional.... now, I am home with the grandkids. It all works out... if only you can trust yourself and believe that what you are doing is worthwhile. People ask me how I can stand bbsitting at my age... it is really exhausting!.... but I always say... and do truly believe, that there is nothing more important for me to be doing, than taking care of these children.
Just my focus... and perhaps yours. Whether you work outside the home or in the home. the trick to making it work is to value yourself and whatever it is that you choose to do. Either way.... these things do work out. Trust yourself.
There is nothing wrong with your decision. Money is not happiness. I'm sure there are many people who wish they had the wonderful opportunity you have. If the need arises in the future you can go back to work, but for now enjoy the time with your children.
It sounds like you are carrying a lot of guilt
regarding your decision to stay at home. I'm sorry to hear that your
husband may be pressuring you to return to work. Have you communicated
your feelings and your reasons for why you prefer to stay home to your
husband? How has he responded?
I don't believe you are alone in your desire to
stay home to raise your kids. I imagine there are mothers who are
experiencing similar feelings of pressure and judgement from society
since the 'norm' has evolved to dual parent incomes. It is strange that
this mindset has emerged in recent times.
It is not healthy to carry the guilt about your desire to be a stay-at-home mom. It is a noble choice and it is your choice.
I realize that is easier said then done as the support of your husband is significant.
I hope that you will find helpful support from other members who may have had similar experiences.
Please let us know how you are doing - we are here for you.
Vincenza, Health Educator
Why is it that in today's society women are looked down upon if they don't work? If I decide to stay home with my kids that decision should be celebrated and shouted from the hilltops. Instead I am looked at as being only half a person. Im not a real woman because I don't work at a job and farm my kids out to someone else to raise. Wow, I'm bitter.
I'm sitting here crying my eyes out because all I want to do in this world is to stay home and look after my kids. I feel so much pressure to go back to work though. The truth is though that my husband and I can afford me to stay home for the first time in our lives. The pressure I'm feeling wants ti crush me right now. I can't breath.
i feel like my husband wants me to go back to work so he can more stuff; a quad, a boat, a cabin. I just want to be a soccer mom and raise my own kids instead of someone else doing it. but i feel like that's wrong.
Help me! please! i need someone to say something to me.
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