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Fear of getting fired

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1

I have had the same job for 4 yearsthe past month I've missed 3 days because of depression I can't leave my room tomorrow I have a write-up I believe in being fired does anybody know if it is legal for them to fire me if I'm going to severe depression I have contacted the EAP through my company they're offering me free counseling but I might not have a job which would make my depression worse

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 8

Alise Its terrible being in this pit, especially when you are used to being efficient and an inspiration to others. And together with this, if you were like me, would be feelings of worthlessness and regret because you are not stronger. Fact is however, this is a time of not being strong. Hugs over the net. Rina

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

Alise,

I am sorry to hear you are feeling this way. It really sounds like you are not feeling like your self at all. Please know that your depression and anxiety has no reflection of the real you. It is an illiness and it can be crippling but you can take control and get back to your old self. In the mean time we are here for you. You might want to start a new thread to introduce yourself as I think your post is a little hidden in this thread. I am sure many members here would like to get to know you.

You mention you were once someone who inspired and supported others. I find sometimes the most giving and considerate people have the hardest time emotionally. Mainly because of all the qualities that make you great can also make you sensitive and an over thinker. Stick with the program and you will learn to control these qualities to your favour. I think you not taking the job was the right choice. Focus on getting well first and then all those other good things like an increased salary will follow. Where do you think you need to get started? What's one first step to getting well?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1

I feel like I'm going in a downward spiral...again. Tears, bad sleeping habits, poor eating habits, late to work, etc. I was offered an interview for a promotion and instead of being eager at the chance to start doing what I love, I felt extreme anxiety and declined the interview. I wasn't ready. I was full of fear of letting down more people than I have already. Although I knew it was the right thing to do in my current state, it was crippling to me mentally. I needed the increased salary, yet I was not confident in my ability to deliver the way I know I am capable. I always aspired to be inspirational and develop others to their best potential at work, yet here I am struggling with motivation and confidence. I was once looked up to and used as an export model. My reputation is tarnished and I feel I'm more of a liability than an asset with this company now. Perhaps its best to start over...

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4

Caper, I read what you wrote and see so much of what you experienced in my own life.

When I was younger, I went from job to job , just trying to make ends meed. Finally, land the dream job. Something I can turn into a career. A fair amount of attention to detail required in my role. This is not good for someone with ADD, but I make lists, write things down and try to be as accurate as I can. Unfortunately, mistakes happen. If someone tells me I've made a mistake, I can fix it. The problem with the work environment I am in is that they tell my manager before me, if I'm told at all. So I'm called up onto the carpet. I have to admit, my manager is aware that people have issues and understands that depression can be very debilitating. I'm put on medical leave to try and deal with my problems. I take some serious steps to deal with my ADD; new and stronger medications, mental and memory training. Six months later, I'm feeling good and strong and prepared to return to work. My first day back and I meet with my manager. He discusses how much they've invested in me and how this year is a cost cutting year and how they are expecting a vast improvement in my performance or "steps will need to be taken." And so, the anxiety begins. I get back into my work, feeling I'm more prepared and then suddenly (to me at least), I find I'm making the same mistakes again.

No one has said anything to me, but the looks, and the meetings my manager has with other staff suddenly become the plotting of my termination. Being the sole wage earner in my family of 4 (2 teenage girls), I can't lose my job. I just can't.

My family is well versed in the effects of clinical depression as my wife and her father (who live with us) are being treated for it. My wife (the wonderful woman that she is) has been encouraging me to find an outlet and help for my situation. This is really the first time I've set down this situation into words, so I must apologize for the length of this post. But, I guess the act of putting it into words is a start to dealing with this,

Thanks for reading.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 619

You are not alone. For me, work has been one of the main factors that worsen my depression. It has been a battle in a daily basis but now I am getting better. On the worst days of my work all I wanted was to put a sick leave and forget work. Fortunately I have my wife and family that have been helping me along. Without them I would be in sick leave today.

I also have afraid of being fired, and sometimes ruminate about it, especially on the worst days. I think most people have afraid of being fired. The difference is that depressed people think a lot about it (and other negative events) and enter in the downward spiral of depression more easily.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 12

Wildwildlife,

Your comments really ring true with me. At the core of my depression and anxiety is the feeling of inadequacy in my job, of not being good enough and of making a mistake. This leads to me to feel like I'm going to be fired the next day, which increases the anxiety. If it didn't happen the next day, then for sure it will happen the next, or maybe they're taking their time to build a case. Then, the family income would be gone, we'd lose the house and the kids wouldn't be able to go to a good school after high school.

The past month, these thoughts and feelings have gotten worse and I am now on a six to eight week medical leave. My fear now is that it won't be substantiated and I'll be sent back to work before I'm ready. It goes on and on...

...glen.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 22

I have this fear a lot too - one thing I've done to help is to amend the ABCDEF to include "f/u" at the end for "follow up". So then, it looks something like this:

A) D asked me to find out this bit of information

B) oh no! I should've predicted this request / figured this out a month ago / she's mad at me / I'm going to get fired!

C) panicky

D/E) mind reading + jumping to concs = I don't know what she/anyone else is thinking unless I'm honestly communicated with about their thoughts

F) serenity prayer - calm

F/U) "Thanks!" email from D after I got her the information she was looking for

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6

hello
just read one of the "donts" is to give advice so please disregard anything below that would be deemed advice

sorry bout that -thanks

caper

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6

kattdavs -sorry to hear about your rough day --some people are very abrasive when they communicate --

i know it would be extremely hard to do ( at least it would be for me ) but have you ever called her on it -- ie on the way she talks to you---it would really be a waste of your post grad education ( very impressive by the way ) to change careers because of one craptastic supervisor--i know you mentioned there were limited opportunities in your field but I would suggest looking around now and networking with former colleagues and classmates -- maybe there is something else ideally in your field . ( or maybe slightly outside your field -- would your degree be applicable to a HR kind of role ? - not really sure where those skills( and im sure there is a lot) could be applied .. well hopefully that didnt come off as too preachy --im definately not an expert

You are right though- you need to be happy at work -- so i did get the job and i start on Monday -- the first 6 weeks are 730 am - 330 pm and the hr person mentioned i might not have to do the shiftwork once the job starts ...salary is the same as what i was makng with scheduled raises at 6 months and a year and these raises can be accelerated ..So it could be good ---I am going to go for the first 6 weeks get a feel for the place and see if it is a good fit for me.. I am still going to look around and see if anything else comes up --

caper

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